No Strings Attached
by Silver Matter
Summary: RenjiOC, FutureFic: The woman he always wanted, or the one who wants him? Renji thought he knew the answer, but even he's not quite sure how a just-for-tonight thing had spun so wildly out of control...
1. Just Tonight

_This is really quite a big deal for me since I have never attempted to do a story with an OC before. But still. This has been fun for me to write, and I hope you all enjoy it!_

_Some minor spoilers throughout this story - references to events from the latest Bleach chapters, and everything we may have ever found out about Renji. All of this story will be told from the consistent POV of Renji, meaning yay! Canon! If you don't want a lot of spoilers for Hueco Mundo, then don't worry! It's not even spoilers so much as it is the knowledge that Hueco Mundo happened, and Renji didn't, you know, die._

_Anyway. Big thank you to __**nostalgic-maiden**__ who looked over this chapter and every other chapter to follow. Since I know I'll forget, this is a blanket thank you to you!_

_I hope you enjoy reading the story! _

**--**

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 1 - Just Tonight**

**-- **

"How about that one?" Matsumoto mused, lightly nudging Renji. "She's pretty. Short brown hair, cute smile. And look! She has a tattoo on her cheek!"

Renji didn't answer as he took another sip of his drink, wondering how long he could keep up this false pretence of ignorance towards his fellow lieutenant before he would be forced to take action and... walk away.

He paused, and winced, wondering just what had happened to his flair for the dramatics.

"Renji!" Matsumoto glared, her elbow digging into his ribs as she discreetly kept an eye out for the afore mentioned shinigami girl.

From his other side, Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "Give it up, Matsumoto. He obviously ain't interested."

Pouting, Matsumoto replied, "I'm just trying to help. Renji's been in his _mood_ for the last couple of days. He just needs to relax from whatever's been making him all sad. And what better way to do that than go out with a pretty girl?"

"I'm sittin' right here, Matsumoto," Renji finally said, stretching his arms placing them behind his head. "'And Ikkaku's right. I've got way too much work to do to be wasting my time."

Matsumoto waved off his sentence with a flick of her hand, the slight air movement causing some of her golden blond hair to flutter.

"Oh please, Renji," she said, downing one of her drinks in one gulp and dragging a hand across her mouth. Her eyes roved around the various women who were in the near vicinity. "You know you need to get out. And I'm sure your mind will change the moment a girl gorgeous enough for you walks by."

Renji glared. "Just how shallow d'you think I am?"

"Well, I dunno," Ikkaku chuckled, his narrow eyes closing in mirth. "Much as a puddle, I'd say."

Matsumoto laughed, and Renji couldn't help but roll his eyes at the level of stupidity that was Ikkaku's last sentence.

"Alcohol's gettin' to you, Ikkaku," Renji remarked dryly. "I've never heard anythin' more retarded. You're losing your touch. Not that you had too much of one to start with."

"He's just messing with you, Renji," said Matsumoto, looking thoroughly amused. "And you're not shallow. Per se. Everyone needs to escape once in a while, and just have fun."

Renji scoffed. "Yeah. Sure. Hypocrite. Don't see _you_ going 'round and flirting' with every available man."

"And how do you know I don't?"

"Yeah, Abarai," cut in Ikkaku. He threw a look of conspiracy towards Matsumoto. "How d'ya know she don't?"

The absurdness of the situation was getting to Renji. But not in the way he was expecting. His lips unconsciously twitched in amusement.

"Cause you're Matsumoto," he settled with saying. "You wouldn't do that."

"Aww, how sweet Renji. Does that mean you've been holding out for me all this time?" Matsumoto asked with a wink, voice playful as she leaned closer to him.

It was hard to keep the flush from his face when someone of Matsumoto's... Matsumoto-ness was seductively looking at you, even though the humour was written plainly on her face. But Renji tried to keep his face from turning into the same color as his hair.

He tried. But failed miserably.

Ikkaku snorted in laughter.

Giving an uncomfortable cough, Renji sharply looked away from Matsumoto.

"Don't flatter yourself, Matsumoto," he said gruffly. "No need for your ego to blow up further than your taichou's."

"Keep Taichou out of this," Matsumoto reprimanded, playful coyness being replaced with a mock glare. "Don't be going around and stealing my job."

Renji held up his hands in defence. "Sorry for overstepping' my bounds, lieutenant."

Ikkaku slammed his bottle on to the counter of the bar, getting up from his stool. "Well, if you ain't gonna be a man and snatch up the girl, I think I'm gonna go and take your place."

Renji took another sip of his drink. "Be my guest, Ikkaku. Just don't be coming' to me with the details."

Ikkaku smirked and didn't answer, heading off towards the aforementioned brunette.

"Well," said Renji, joining Matsumoto in watching Ikkaku from the corner of their eyes. "That's bound to end up in tears."

"No kidding," laughed Matsumoto. "Now back to what we were talking about before..."

Renji groaned.

"Lord, Matsumoto," said Renji tiredly. "What am I doing' here with you and Ikkaku, anyway? Where're the normal guys? Hisagi? Iba? Hell, Kira?"

Matsumoto shrugged. "Shuuhei's piled with work and Kira's avoiding going drinking with me for whatever reason. For now, anyway. No one can resist my charm for too long."

"Uh-huh."

"So why're you being so difficult about this, Renji?" asked Matsumoto, looking at him sharply, critically, almost. "You know that I have your best interests at heart."

Sighing, Renji replied, "Yeah, I know."

"I really _do_ just want you to enjoy yourself, you know." Her eyes saddened somewhat, and Renji wondered if he hadn't been doing as good of a job as he thought he had in acting normal. "You've been real... I don't know. Not sad. But depressed? You just seemed like you needed to have some kind of fun in your life."

Renji's lips slightly curved upwards. "You're too much, you know that?"

In response, Matsumoto flicked his forehead. "I'm trying to _help_, you ungrateful idiot," said Matsumoto, "because you've been more stressed than usual lately. Why don't you just take my advice and go and find a pretty girl to talk to?"

Renji considered her words, breathing out heavily. He really didn't want to start something with someone whom he _knew_ he couldn't love. It just wasn't right, giving a nice girl false hope.

"Matsumoto, I don't _want_ to go and take any of 'em out for some nice dinner or something when I can't give them anything more. It's not them that I-"

He cut himself off, suddenly not wanting to look at Matsumoto anymore.

"Hey," whispered Matsumoto, patting him on the back. "This is why you got to do something."

She bit her lip, as if weighing what she was about to say, before carefully starting, "I'm not saying that you should... give up or something like that. You don't have to do anything that you don't _want_ to do. But there are some things that you want, Renji - oh, don't give me that look - and those things you can't really get from me or Ikkaku or whatever."

Renji stared at her incredulously.

Matsumoto tapped her chin. "Well, I suppose _I_ could, but that would be weird in so many levels."

Renji promptly choked. "Matsumoto, just... stop, okay?"

Although she had to stifle in her giggle, Matsumoto nodded, and said, "Sure."

Renji nodded in thanks. It was a good thing that it was Matsumoto he was talking with. Not only would it have been extremely awkward were it one of the guys, but Matsumoto was extremely easy to talk to. Almost like... well, like Rukia, except he couldn't really talk to Rukia about... things that concerned her.

And it wasn't like Matsumoto was replacing Rukia in any way. No matter how gorgeous and funny Matsumoto was, Rukia was simply... Rukia. The big, bright eyes and the superior smirk and the strong but generous and kind attitude and... and...

He took a deep gulp of sake and wondered just when he had discovered he was in so deep.

Matsumoto hummed under her breath contentedly, and Renji pondered over her words.

And despite himself, he let his eyes travel away from a suspicious looking stain on the table in front of him and on to the people that were surrounding the bar.

Matsumoto grinned.

Renji didn't bother to wonder why there were so many people around tonight. It was like this everyday when there wasn't some kind of crisis in Seireitei. It was the busiest area with all sorts of places for shinigami in their break to shop or eat or whatever. And generally, when they were done working for the day - much like Renji and Matsumoto - the souls... basically did the same, except they let themselves have much more leeway since they didn't have to go back to their duties.

And it was a nice night outside, so the amount of shinigami was more than usual.

"Find anyone yet?" questioned Matsumoto casually.

Renji wondered why the wording made it sound like he was looking for... fresh meat or something. Although, to be perfectly honest in a rather roundabout way, that was what he was doing. He wondered why didn't feel the least bit sleazy after he came to the conclusion. He supposed the amount of sake in his system was affecting his natural train of thought.

Or maybe he decided to just do what everyone did for one night instead of restraining himself from it.

It wasn't like women didn't do the same, he reminded himself. If anything, they were even worse, _way_ more perverted than men could ever be, _and _they were extremely vocal about it.

Renji would never be the same after overhearing a conversation in the 4th Division, of all places, concerning the anatomy of males.

"Nope, not her." Renji glanced curiously at Matsumoto who wasn't even looking at him, but was rather scowling down at her uniform, which had a single drop of liquid on it. "She's with that long haired guy from the 5th Division."

"Oh," frowned Renji.

He wondered just whathe was doing.

"Look to your left, Renji," advised Matsumoto, still glaring at her lap, and pulling up the black fabric to get a closer look at it. "Then maybe I can finally stop feeling weird about checking out good looking women with you. This is Ikkaku's job, dammit. Or even Shuuhei. And have you noticed that I'm the only girl who drinks with you guys? I mean what is with that?"

Renji decided to stop listening to Matsumoto's mumbles, as it stopped being directed to him after the first sentence. Rather, he took the blonde's words to heart - or whatever - and moved his gaze towards his other side.

And even though there were quite a few shinigami there, Renji knew right away who Matsumoto was referring to.

It was kind of hard not to, as the girl in question was staring right at him.

She was talking to her friend - or someone he assumed was her friend - mouth moving as she kept up her conversation while her eyes were trained on him, a smile growing on her lips. Her friend was crouched on the ground - probably looking for something - and obviously had no idea on what was going on.

And then she did the impossible.

Without even putting a break in her conversation, she, of all things, winked.

At him.

Renji raised his eyebrows and turned back to his drink.

"Well," he finally said, in an uncharacteristic show of calm after a moment of silence. Maybe he was leading her on by looking back at her? Maybe he had expected her to get intimidated by his stare? Maybe he had hoped she wouldn't be so forward?

Maybe...?

Matsumoto nodded in agreement to what he said. "_Well _is right."

"So, ah..."

"Right, privacy," said Matsumoto with an understanding nod, oblivious to - or perhaps purposefully ignoring - Renji's sudden choke. She patted him companionably on the back as she got off of her place beside him. "Don't stay up too late, okay? You've got work tomorrow."

"Oh, hell-"

"Chill, Renji," were her parting words. "And play it smooth. We all know how you can be. Sometimes. And don't be like that this time."

"Wah - Matsumoto," Renji could not believe he was stuttering as he stared in fear at Matsumoto's - or rather, _the traitor's_, as Renji had now dubbed her - back. "Where the hell d'ya - oh, fuck..."

Renji would've bolted right then and there if it wasn't for the fact the girl was walking towards him right then. And it would've been entirely too obvious that he was getting away from there if he shot off like a bat out of hell.

Or whatever the phrase was.

"Hi," she said, blinking at him with a smile on her face, hand casually reaching up to tuck her long bangs behind one ear. Her hair was parted in a manner - despite the braid - so the majority of it was on one side.

Renji wondered if the awkwardness he was feeling was visible on his face as looked at her in slight disbelief. He managed to reply with a, "Hey."

He really couldn't bring himself to say anything else. In fact, he was in some kind of awe that he managed to say that at all, because frankly, for the last few decades of his life, the women he talked with weren't interested in getting into bed with him.

He immediately - but mentally - slapped himself for that, because he was assuming. Which was not at all good. It made him feel judgemental, and if there was one person who had the least right to be judgmental, it would be him.

For all he knew, she could just want to... go out to dinner. Or something.

Thankfully - or not thankfully, depending on what was going on and Renji just didn't know _what _to think anymore - the girl didn't seem to mind his answer, as she dropped down to the seat that was previously Ikkaku's and said, gesturing with her hand, "So, I was watching you from over there."

"Yeah?" Renji took a gulp of his drink, and wondered just when he had turned into his captain. So he quickly added a, "I noticed."

Amazingly, she didn't take that as an insult. Rather, her smile widened, and she said, "That's awesome, then. Because now I don't have to talk you into going out with me, since I'm sure you already figured it out."

Although he was slightly taken aback, Renji quickly caught himself and sighed.

"Look," he said finally, looking at her straight in the eye as he put his drink on the surface in front of him. "I'm sorry if I was leading you on or whatnot with my eyes or whatever-"

Her eyes grew more amused, and Renji realized just how odd that sentence sounded and flushed slightly.

"Well," she laughed, giving him another wink, her thick lashes becoming even more pronounced. "Those are some pretty sexy eyes you got there. I think I would've been led on even if you were staring at a chair."

Renji couldn't help the twitch of amusement that reflexively came on his lips. But he shoved it back and continued, just like how a good guy would. "I ain't - I'm not interested in getting into anything right now."

"No?" She sounded almost disappointed. "Not even just going and getting something to eat?"

Shit. She really did just want dinner or whatever.

He felt like an even bigger jackass than before. He didn't even know why he thought she was... what was the word. Promiscuous. Right. She showed a whole lot less than what Matsumoto did - although, to be fair, there was _some _of her cleavage showing - and her uniform was as protocol. Her dark hair was pulled back neatly, and only some smaller strands fell around her face.

Not as sexy as he had seen in his life – but seriously, looking at the women he spent most of his time with, it wasn't a real big surprise – but she was cute.

Renji gave an internal groan. Ikkaku was right. He _was _acting like a shallow bastard. Puddle shallow, or whatever the stupid analogy was. If Rukia were here, she would've kicked his ass all the way to the 56th District of Rukongai by now.

"Listen," he tried again. "I know a lotta girls like the whole romance thing, but I seriously don't have that. I don't know if you're that type or not, but even if you aren't, I just wouldn't feel right, y'know? There's just a lot of stuff happening for me right now..."

The girl nodded. "Okay. Sure. And now that you've told me exactly what I'd be getting into if I continue to persist, what would you say if I asked you? Again?"

"Well," said Renji, taken aback. "I didn't think that far ahead."

She smiled again, and it was really freaking Renji out that someone could smile like that so much. Okay, so not freaking-him-out, since it was a pretty smile. But still. "So do you have the time to think about it now?"

Renji sighed, and answered with a proper, "Yes."

She sparkled that smile again. "And?"

"And the answer's still no."

"Oh," she said, face dropping. "So that's the final answer?"

"Sorry," said Renji, really meaning it. "But yeah."

"Hmm." She slid off the stool and stood up next to him, and Renji realized that she must have been pretty small - well, not Rukia small, but maybe Hinamori - if she was his height while he was sitting down. "If you're sure."

"Thanks," replied Renji, feeling the tension ease away from him at her easy acceptance.

"Of course," she continued, and Renji fought the urge to groan. "The invitation's still open. If you want to come with me to get something to eat. And maybe come back here to drink afterwards. Just for tonight. Nothing else."

Renji stared. "What, really?"

"Yup. Only for tonight. Because you look like you need some major unwinding, and I," she paused for a moment to gesture at herself, "am the perfect distraction."

And at that - that being everything, the words the gestures, the way she said, "the perfect distraction," - was enough to make him laugh. Not really at her, but in sheer appreciation out of what she was doing.

"So what d'you say?" she asked, smiling, holding out her hand in invitation.

Although he didn't take the offered hand - he didn't think he could look at himself in the mirror without feeling like a hypocrite if he did - Renji stood up nonetheless and said, rather hesitantly, "...Just tonight."

"Of course," she replied, bringing her hand back to her side. "I'm Noriko, by the way."

"I'm-"

"Abarai Renji." There was a grin on her face. "I know."

"Right," said Renji, already wondering if this was a good idea. "Of course."


	2. The Morning After

_I'm glad to see you liked the last chapter! Noriko is really kind of awesome in my opinion, and I can't resist writing her. And even though we only got a glimpse of her personality in the last chapter, don't worry! If you kind of enjoyed her personality, we delve in a little bit more here._

_I hope you enjoy reading this chapter too! And, as always, comments and critique would be lovely. _

**-- **

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 2 - The Morning After**

**-- **

When Renji woke up the next day, blinking from the streams of bright light that filtered through the window, he was in a daze. He absently threw one arm over his eyes to block out the sun.

Then he said, "Wow."

And when he shifted so he was leaning on his side, Noriko's thick lashes fluttered up at him as she held a blanket up to her chest. "No kidding."

Renji flopped back down on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling, still in slight awe at the events of last night. "So we..."

"Yeah."

"An' then we..."

"Yeah."

Renji paused the conversation for a moment before letting out a slow, heavy breath. "That was..."

"Wow," sighed Noriko.

"Wow," agreed Renji. And he would've gone further if it wasn't for the fact that right then the throbbing pain that he had managed to block out had come back. He groaned, burying his head deeper into his pillow.

"You okay?" asked Noriko, looking at him with wide eyes as she leaned in a little closer and placed the back of her hand on his forehead. "You're kind of hot..."

She smiled, teeth and all, and Renji remembered why he thought she had a nice smile. "Well, of course you are. But I don't think that that's from a fever."

Renji ignored her for a moment, not to be rude, but because he really needed to focus on getting rid of the pain. He closed his eyes and counted back from fifteen, actually feeling the sharp pang ease away.

He sighed in relief, and Noriko asked curiously, "Does that actually help? The counting back thing?"

Renji's lips quirked up a bit, and he replied, "Yeah. But would you mind keeping it down for a bit? I need a moment..."

"Sure," she nodded and closed her eyes a bit, sighing with a smile on her face. And Renji, for all he was worth, wondered just _what_ he was thinking last night.

Well, obviously he wasn't thinking. At all. Well, maybe he was thinking. At the beginning. When he had remembered to tell Noriko how this wasn't going to be anything more than just dinner. Or whatever. And now, the very next day, he was waking up next to her in bed, after a night of...

If he was being frank - as in completely, brutally honest - with himself, which he tried to do all the time, then he would admit that last night was... Good. Better than good, actually. _Way _better. Mind-shatteringly-good kind of better.

Renji couldn't remember any other time in his life when he had sighed so much within twenty-four hours.

"We weren't drunk last night," he stated, as it was a fact and not something he was wondering.

Noriko peeked open her eyes, and for the first time, the smile on her face faded into a slight frown. "No, we weren't."

"So how'd this happen?"

The grin back was back - the one that she always had on when she was with him. Flirty, but not really seductive because she seemed to know that he wasn't really interested. Kind of playful, too. Renji felt relieved because for a moment there, he thought he had gone and done something horrible without knowing it.

"Well," she said, reaching forward and pulling on a long lock of red that was his hair and twirling it around her finger, "I think it was when we were walking by that alley and I pulled you in to start making out."

Renji felt a flush erupt in his cheeks, remembering it was him who brought it to the next step. "And I didn't exactly stop you..."

"No, you didn't." She let go of his hair and sat up, blanket still wrapped around her. "And it's a good thing, too. I think I would've been a lot more bitter this morning if last night didn't happen."

Renji agreed.

"Still," he insisted. "I'm sorry."

Noriko looked at him in confusion. "Why? We both wanted it. It wasn't like... you forced yourself on me or I did on you or whatever. Either one of use could've backed out if they didn't want to. I mean, you're a good guy, Renji, so I know you wouldn't do anything... um, dishonourable?"

She grinned then, and added, "And even though you probably didn't see this last night, I'm strong enough to say no with force if I have to. Even if I didn't have my sword on me. Which seems to be the case right now, too. Damn."

By this point, Renji also sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. His hair was out of its usual bind, freely falling around him, brushing against his bare back. He mournfully took a fistful of it, wondering how long it would take to get it neat enough to bundle up.

Pettily, he felt a little bit better when he saw Noriko weaving her fingers through her own long strands of black, trying to get the tangles out.

"Oi," she said, giving him a stern look. "Don't be feeling too good about yourself there. It'll take you just as long as me to get your beautiful red back to the way it was."

Renji glared at her and slumped back down to the bed, covering his face with his hands.

"Aw, I'm sorry," said Noriko, and even though he couldn't see her, he just _knew _she had that smug, flirty smile on her face.

Somehow, everything that Noriko did seemed to fall under the category of 'flirty.' She wasn't extremely bold, but the insinuations were there, yet everything felt just shy of being sensual. As if she didn't want to push over a limit of some sort.

A small shiver raced through him as he felt Noriko's finger tracing a line on the tattoo on his chest. So maybe he was wrong about the whole, sensual thing. She was doing a pretty good job of it right now as she said, "So, you up for another round?"

"Yeah - I mean, no. No."

"Why not?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. "There's still like an hour and a half before we have to be at work."

"Well I gotta be there earlier than you," he replied truthfully, and cursing internally because of it. And then he blinked his tired eyes, rubbing it in vain attempt to lose some of the sleep that was in there. "And I got absolutely no sleep last night, thanks to you. At all. Not to mention the night before I had a graveyard shift..."

"I got like, an hour tonight, only," offered Noriko, still tracing his tattoo, but now she moved on to his face. "Feel better about the fact that I'll be suffering too."

"I ain't gonna make myself happy on someone else's misery."

Noriko smiled. "You know that it happens automatically, anyway. Misery loves company, right?"

Renji muttered something under his breath, and Noriko laughed.

"And because I'm just so awesome - and grateful that you gave up your quarters," she added at his flat look, stretching her arms and yawning, "you can have the shower first."

"Great," he said unenthusiastically.

Noriko didn't answer - not that Renji blamed her, as his sentence wasn't something that someone could really add anything on to - and just lay down back in bed.

"Wake me up when you get out," she called, yawning widely. "I want to catch as many minutes of sleep as I can. It's Progress Review Week and I don't want to be late..."

At that, Renji felt a stab of pity for her, as he didn't need to go through it. Or even conduct it, as that was the captains' duty. But still. He absently patted her on the shoulder, and headed for bathroom, dragging the sheet with him.

At least Noriko still had the blanket.

Not that he would mind seeing her without it.

There was a soft hiss before warm water started pouring out of the shower, and Renji sighed in content. It felt good. The hot water actually made the sleep go away - however momentarily - rather than make it worse.

As pathetic as it might have sounded, the shower made him happy. Enough for him to forget about the mess his hair was in and how long it would take for him to fix it. Or he'd have to cut it all off.

He shuddered at the thought.

Although, he had considered it before. For a second. And then promptly laughed at Rukia's face because the idea that she could even suggest something of that calibre of stupidity had been ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Rukia.

He sighed.

Renji leaned his forehead against the tiles on the wall, remembering just why he had been so tempted to go out with Noriko the night before.

It was one of the main reasons that he didn't want to do the whole, dating thing. Well, not dating. Whatever it was that he was doing. That he did. And it wasn't even that Noriko looked like Rukia. Because she didn't, at all.

Noriko's hair was longer and straighter and a soft, pure, ink blackin comparison to Rukia's slightly metallic tint, and her body was taller and a whole lot less thin. Rukia's face was slightly sharper than Noriko's lower cheekbones, and her eyes were wide and expressive and a misty dark purple, where Noriko's were softer and this pure blue color that wasn't light or dark or bright.

Just the most basic form of blue.

Anyway, he was getting completely away from the point.

The fact was that he wanted Rukia. But he couldn't have her. He simply couldn't. It didn't take a genius to figure out why.

Really, if he thought about it, he and Rukia were facing the same problem.

And Renji wondered now, one day too late, why he let himself take that... exit that Noriko had offered. Especially since now he would have to suck in all of his issues and guilt and walk back into whatever room it was he had exited from in the first place.

He really felt like punching something. But he couldn't, since this was his property and it would be coming out of his pay if did break anything. So he swore, wondering why his life was so unfair.

He didn't usually take a long time in the shower, and today wasn't any different. It did take him a while to get all the knots out of his hair. Once he did though, he rinsed out all the water and went back into the room to wake Noriko up.

Surprisingly, she was already awake, sitting cross legged on his bed with one of his extra towels wrapped around her. The long mess of her hair was pulled up in a haphazard fashion with the tangles still in it, as far as Renji could tell, those shorter pieces still falling around her face.

"Woah," was the first thing that came out of her mouth and her eyes traveled up to his body - in an excruciatingly slow manner - taking her time in looking at every visible part until finally coming to a stop at his face. Renji flushed, wondering why he wasn't in anything else but a towel (even though it covered his knees) as she grinned. "Nice."

He got the distinct feeling that she had just ruthlessly - while thoroughly enjoying herself - undressed him with her eyes. Just his luck, to be half naked in the same room with a pervert.

But she wasa _cute_ pervert. And it wasn't like she hadn't seen more than whatever she was seeing now. He didn't understand why he was feeling weird about it now, when he was so perfectly into the whole thing last night.

Oh. Right. His revelation about life while he was taking a shower.

"Weren't you supposed to be sleeping?" asked Renji, a bit more roughly than he should have, but he really couldn't bring himself to apologize.

"Was supposed to be," nodded Noriko, and Renji wondered how someone could be just so easygoing. He wished he could channel that. His life would be a lot less stressful if he could just take everything in the flow like what Noriko did. "But then I realized that I need it to be dark to sleep. And I couldn't really find a blindfold lying around... so I thought, what the hell, and fixed the bed. Well. I changed the sheets and fluffed the pillows. That's enough, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Renji felt really bad - despite everything that he was telling himself mentally - about what he was going to say. Especially after she had gotten to the trouble of making his bed. "Listen-"

"Hmm?"

"About last night..."

"What about it?" asked Noriko, gathering up her clothes from the floor and other random places around the room. And then she stopped, a look of understanding dawning upon her face. "Oh. _Oh_. I get it. Don't worry about it."

Although, the look of disappointment that came across her face said otherwise.

Renji stared. "What?"

"Well, you said just last night, right?" she said, walking up to him, arms full of clothes. "And I agreed to that. And just because last night ended with us sleeping together doesn't mean that you have to... I don't know. Feel obligated or whatever. I knew what I was getting into and I'm okay."

Looking at her sceptically, Renji asked, "Really?"

"Sure. Although," she paused, sighing a little bit and placing her hand on his chest. "I will definitely miss not having the opportunity to see _this _every morning."

Noriko winked, and started towards to the bathroom. "I'm going to be a while in here. So feel free to leave anytime you want. And yes, I realize that it sounds weird, seeing as this is your place and all..."

She trailed off, looking rather confused before shaking her head and continuing, "And I'm not going to steal anything. Don't worry. When you get back from work, everything will be how it was. I swear on my shinigami honour."

And then she kissed him on the cheek - he was right when he thought Noriko was extremely forward, but now, he didn't really think that it was a bad thing - and went inside the bathroom.

Renji stared at the closed door for a few moments in order to catch up on what just happened before finally saying a, "Just don't use up all of the hot water."

"Can't make any promises," she called back through the door, her amused voice mixing in with the soft sounds of the water droplets. "But I will try."

And since he didn't have anything to add on to that, Renji just nodded to himself, and started to pull on his hakama. His hair was relatively dry now, enough to push it into a ponytail and tie his bandana around his forehead.

On his quest to find Zabimaru to whatever corner of the room he had been flung to - he winced at his callous treatment of his dear friend and sword - Renji wondered just how into the whole thing were. They through their swords to the ground, for crying out loud, in an attempt to get the other out their clothes, flinging said garments all over the place.

Not that he had minded at that moment in time.

Hell, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't mind now.

He reminded himself to thank Matsumoto sometime in the near future, but very subtly. _Very _subtly. No need to maker think that she has some kind of talent in matchmaking or whatever. People's lives could be ruined.

And he, in a roundabout way, would be responsible.

Thinking of the chaos that was bound to erupt in his mind if he kept up this train of thought, Renji forced himself to stop thinking about such trivial things.

"Sorry, Zabimaru," he said quietly, once he found his sword. Zabimaru didn't seem to mind though, and Renji smiled a bit, tucking the sword into his sash, and continued to look around for his last piece of clothing... article that was his lieutenant's badge.

That was relatively easy to find. The sunlight caused it to sparkle.

The light caused something else to sparkle as well.

Noriko's zanpakutou looked quite simple. Nothing special, as only the handle was peeking out of the scabbard. It was very different from Rukia's, which was probably the most beautiful sword he had seen was in his entire life.

Noriko's just looked like a sword.

Not that that was bad or anything. Zabimaru looked like just a sword too until he released it, and then he started to build up on power.

Renji blinked once he noticed his hands automatically reaching for it. But he shrugged and brought it out from under the bed, carefully placing it on top of the new sheets.

Although he really wanted to take it out and admire a never before seen zanpakutou - it was an urge all shinigami had, he was sure - Renji didn't because he knew that some people's bonds with their respective swords were a sacred thing, and he didn't want to break that unwritten law.

He sighed, and knocked once on the bathroom door.

"Renji?" called Noriko, voice slightly muffled, and the shower stopped.

"Yeah," he said, heart beating oddly fast. It must've been the lack of sleep. Or perhaps it was because he knew he was doing something that would not do him good in the future. "I'm leaving."

There was a pause - did he say something wrong? - before Noriko answered, "Okay, then. I'll be seeing you."

_I don't think so_, Renji wanted to say with a hint of remorse, but didn't because it would've been cruel. But then a moment of silence later the sounds of water droplets erupted again, and Renji started towards the 6th Division Headquarters.

The wind blew against his face and onto his still damp hair, causing him to feel a dull ache. His jaw was firm as he told himself it was the right thing to do, since he didn't want to screw around with someone's mind like how his was being done - however unintentionally it was.

Yet, despite it all, Renji still felt the slightest bit of regret - but surprisingly, no guilt as he had found himself in a kind of reserved self-acceptance - that he couldn't offer Noriko anything more.


	3. Needs and Wants

_Plenty of Noriko in this chapter for those who liked her! And of course, it's jam packed with the awesomeness that is Renji since, you know, above everything else, it is his story._

_We get to see more characters this time around! Vice-captains galore, and hints about their lives, the captains as well, but only in spirit. But we love them anyway, so it's all cool._

_Enjoy reading this chapter!_

**-- **

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 3 - Needs and Wants**

**-- **

Most of the lieutenant level shinigami were gathered in a spare room in the 1st Division Headquarters - the ones not here weren't late yet - waiting for someone to come out and tell them what exactly the vice-captains were doing for the week since all of the captains were going to busy doing... whatever they would be doing with the other shinigami in their division.

Of course, Renji knew that it would've been so much less time consuming if their respective captains just _told_ them what needed to be done individually. But whatever. He didn't really care at the moment.

He yawned widely, wondering when the person would be coming in.

"Well you're looking mighty tired, Renji," said Matsumoto as she walked in through the door, arranging the length of pink around her shoulders. "Long night?"

Renji was about to retort when another yawn engulfed him and he rubbed his eyes. This was hell, he knew. He was tired, and cold and sleepy and now Matsumoto was going to start hounding him. With his best interests at heart, of course.

"Lay off, Matsumoto," he muttered, wishing the person to come would just hurry the hell up.

"You seem _way _too tired to have had a quiet night around town," she smiled brightly and leaned forward curiously. As professional as Matsumoto could be, she had the gossipy side to her that didn't agree with Renji. At all. "Did you get lucky last night?"

Renji glared at her, hoping she'd get the hint and go away.

Unfortunately, some red must've leaked into his cheeks, as Matsumoto laughed and clapped her hands together happily. "Oh, you _did_, Renji! I must say that I'm proud. You have exceeded my expectations greatly."

"Go t'hell," he muttered, sliding to the ground, drawing his knees and burying his head in his arms. "Can't you see that I'm 'bout to drop dead?"

"Sure I can," she replied, waving off the edginess in his tone. "And it's not my fault in any way, shape or form, so don't take it out on me. It's all you. How long were you up, anyway? You look like... you died. Again."

She then added, "No offence."

"Whatever. I think I got a few hours of sleep last night'. Maybe. And you know that the night before I had to do patrol duty."

"Hmm. Well. Even though your tone implies otherwise, I have to ask." Matsumoto had that look on her face that said that she was about to ask something that he would find extremely uncomfortable to answer. "Was it good?"

Renji couldn't believe that audacity that Matsumoto had.

"It was good, wasn't it? Or was it _you _that wasn't good? My curiosity isn't being satiated by your dumb stare, Renji. Details."

Renji mumbled something under his breath.

Matsumoto frowned. "What?"

"Yes!" he finally said loudly. "It was great. It was..."

He trailed off before making some vague hand gestures.

Matsumoto's mouth dropped open.

Renji breathed out and leaned his head back against the wall, and Matsumoto continued to stare at him, presumable shocked with his outburst. Which she had no reason of being, of course, since she asked for it. Literally.

"Wow," Matsumoto finally said. "That good?"

"_Wow _describes it just 'bout right," confirmed Renji. "Now, pipe down, will ya? Don't need the rest of them to be coming here and harassing me like you are."

"Nice, Renji," Matsumoto remarked sarcastically. "I can really feel the love here."

"Whatever, Matsumoto."

And then, thankfully, someone finally walked in through the door, and everyone hurried to stand up properly, brushing off non-existent dirt from their uniforms and adjusting their badges on their arms.

Renji, though, couldn't be worried about trivial things like that as he focused all of his mind into what the man was saying, counting the minutes till he could get some form of caffeine in his system. Weak as the brands in Soul Society may be, in comparison to the living world, caffeine was caffeine, and if it meant that it would give him a boost in energy, then he was all for it.

And he desperately needed something for his eyes.

"Lieutenants," the man-who-Renji-never-saw-before called out, "I'm here with your assignments for the rest of this week, as your captains will be extremely busy."

The man-who-Renji-never-saw-before then proceeded to bring out approximately twelve binders stuffed with official looking papers. "In here are your schedules for the week, along with instructions on how to do things you've never done before, and just general paperwork that your captains have been kind enough to gather."

Somewhere from his side, Renji heard a pencil snap, and when he turned around curiously, he saw Ise Nanao with a rather suspicious looking twitch in her eye and an odd, strained smile on her face.

Renji shrugged, knowing full well of the... relationship between the heads of the 8th Division.

Saying a few more formalities and such, the man-who-Renji-never-saw-before left, and Renji scowled. "_This _is what I gave up an hour of my sleep for?!"

He glared down at his assigned binder.

"Mine is pretty okay, actually," said Matsumoto, flipping through her own pile of papers which was roughly half the size of everyone else's. "Taichou must've finished some of it throughout last week."

She then paused, a grinned happily. "Aww. That's so sweet. Isn't Taichou the best, ever?"

Renji didn't listen any further to the smug tone hidden in Matsumoto's voice. Rather, his eyes caught sight of the 4th Division's vice-captain, and he hurried to catch up to her before she left and all of Renji's hope would be lost, and he'd have to actually trek over to the healing division of Seireitei, or a store of some sort.

"Isane!" he called, rushing a little bit to catch up. "Wait up!"

The tall lieutenant turned around, and smiled once her eyes caught sight of him.

"Abarai-kun," she greeted politely, "How are you doing?"

"Good, good," replied Renji, blinking rapidly. "List'n, this may sound weird, but do you happen to have any... uh, eye drops with you? My eyes are killing me."

"Eye drops?" repeated Isane, raising her eyebrows. At Renji's serious nod, she laughed a little, and said, "Abarai-kun, just because I'm from the 4th Division doesn't mean I carry around drugs with me all the time. Even though eye-drops don't really count as such."

"Oh." Renji's expression visibly fell. "Damn."

"Sorry," offered Isane, looking sincerely apologetic.

"I cannot believe you two are having a conversation like this and blocking the door," came Nanao's irritated voice, one hand on her book, and the other on a binder that had about twice the thickness in paper than anyone else's. No one blamed her for being so snappy. "A couple of us would still like to go through."

Flustered, Renji stepped back, "Ah. Sorry."

Sighing, Nanao reached into an inner pocket of her uniform, and pulled out a small glass bottle, tossing it to Renji who barely caught it, and looked down at confusedly. "Huh?"

"It's for your eyes," she explained. "I carry it around because mine sometimes get irritated from lack of moisture. Which I'm assuming is your problem too."

Renji just stared at her for a little bit before saying, "Thanks."

Nanao nodded, and left, and everyone followed out before Renji unscrewed the bottle, and proceeded to drop as many drops as he could in each eye. He blinked to soak it in, feeling a slight sting from the liquid.

"Try not to fall asleep in the middle of some important meeting, Renji," Matsumoto gave him a friendly pat on the back before heading out. "And drop by that place in the 1st District and get some sugar in you or something before doing anything else."

Renji gave her a half-hearted salute, taking her parting words to heart. Well, he was going to do it anyway, but the fact that Matsumoto cared enough about him to tell him the same - although, he did know that Matsumoto cared; she was just _like _that - made him feel like the day was not as hellish as he had expected it to be.

Sure enough, one reasonably short trip and three cups of caffeine later, Renji was looking down at his binder a lot more calm and awake than he had been for the last hour.

It really wasn't that hard or complicated, in his opinion, anyway, what he had to do as the temporary captain of his division. Really, it was so basic he wondered why he never thought of putting a bit more effort into becoming a captain in the first place.

Perhaps it was because his main goal in (after)life was to defeat Kuchiki Byakuya - who, Renji could honestly say, he respected greatly, and even liked. Once he achieved that, he really had no idea where his life would go.

But he was thinking of a pretty easygoing sort of lifestyle. He'd still fight, of course, it was in his spirit, but he wanted to relax in the future. He was shinigami, yes, so it was his duty to protect souls, but he remembered that he was a soul himself, and deserved his amount of peace Soul Society.

Of course, then there were all those vague dreams he had in trying to get Seireitei into having a greater role in the condition of the districts of Rukongai that were closer to the number eighty. Growing up in those living conditions, he knew he wished someone would come along and do something to change it. And now that he was so close to having the power to do things...

Renji sighed, and took another paper from his not decreasing pile.

Okay, being captain was all well and good, but he could live with the disappointment of never being one if it meant never having to read through each of these tedious white sheets.

He was aching for a break.

And then Renji realized, in all technicality, he was in charge for this week, and he could just take a break right now if he wanted to. But the burst of joy that went through him lessened as he looked at the binder, and the realization that all the work there was for today only.

...He supposed he could combine his break while doing some of the negotiations or whatever it was he had to do with the 3rd Division.

He stretched his arms, fingers still holding a pen, and decided that the last six hours of his life was really horrible. He supposed it was some kind of retribution because the six hours before that _was_... so complete, utterly, _not _horrible.

Matsumoto was right, he mused, heading towards the 3rd Division, idly wondering if Kira was going as well as Renji was. Last night was something he really needed.

And sadly, something he would have to live with for a long, long time.

And he really did like Noriko. Really. She was nice.

Renji shook his head. Not the time to be thinking about this.

He landed lightly in front of a passing, fresh out of the academy shinigami, effectively scaring the poor soul. And it wasn't Renji himself who had shocked the boy into being paralyzed, but rather the fact that he had - in every sense of the term - literally phased into existence in front of him.

Really, it was just really fast shunpo. But whatever.

"Oi, kid," said Renji, bending down slightly and waving his hands in front of the boys eyes. "You okay?"

Maybe if he didn't sound as disinterested as a rock, then the boy would've been slightly more responsive. But Renji couldn't help it, and after a few more prods and pokes and words and not to mention general shaking of the shoulders, the boy blinked and stared.

Renji took a deep, calming breath.

He was getting extremely annoyed with this fellow.

"Can you tell me where Kira-fukutaichou's room is, kid?" Renji asked, in the kindest voice he could muster.

The kid squeaked, and pointed down a hallway.

Although Renji nodded in thanks, inside, he was wondering is he had been that wimpy when he just graduated.

And then he scoffed.

The idea was completely ludicrous.

But the thought did put him in a better mood. It gave him something more light hearted to think about, which was always good. Goodness knew he would be wallowing in a pool of self pity if he didn't have people like Rukia (sort of) and Matsumoto (again, sort of) and Ikkaku (he had no idea where he was going with this) and... everyone else to snap him out of it.

"Kira!" he called, once reached the room that looked eerily like his own office but with a large number three on it rather than a six. He knocked on the door. "It's Renji. Open up."

The door slowly creaked open a few seconds later, and Kira blinked up at him wearily. "Renji -kun? Hi. Come in."

Renji stared for a moment, wondering just how badly Kira had been coping lately, before walking in.

The rings under the Kira's eyes were now deeper and darker, and his hair and skin were paler. He looked rather disoriented, from time to time, pausing and blinking at intervals before continuing forward.

Renji sure hoped they replaced the captains soon. Everything was just in so much chaos after all of the Arrancar and Hueco Mundo business. And if this was how Kira was faring, Renji didn't even want to see Hinamori, who still had to go to the 4th Division for psychiatric exams from time to time.

Kira smiled a weary smile at him. "What brings you here, Renji-kun?"

For whatever reason, Renji felt extremely awkward, standing there in Kira's office. He had absolutely no idea why. But his heart was beating faster, and his eyes were darting around, trying to find all possible exit routes.

"Renji-kun?" Kira asked again, politely.

"Ah, yeah, right," said Renji quickly, pulling out a sheaf of papers from the inside of his haori. "You know how your division is in charge of the field training next week? For the academy fourth years?"

A frown was beginning to form on Kira's face. "Yes."

"Well, you see, 4th Division has a special presentation planned for that week, and because of that, they tried compromising with the 10th Division on whatever they were gonna do. But then it turn's out that Zaraki's been acting more whacked than usual 'cause he doesn't want to retract the duties that they had traded for patrol duty and-"

"Renji-kun, stop. Please," said Kira, rubbing his temples with his forefinger and thumb. "This is way too much for me to handle right now."

Renji obliged, feeling more than just a little bit of pity for the poor soul who had to do four times the amount of work of any normal captain.

"Is it possible for you to just tell me what I have to change, and who I should inform that this change directly affects?"

"Ah, yeah. Since our division is gonna be in charge of the new graduates and all that, you've gotta tell Shunsui-taichou that your division's gonna have to take over the Living World for the third week of next month and tell him to go and talk to Yamamoto-soutaichou for whatever they're suppose' to do instead."

Kira blinked, before quickly scribbling whatever Renji said down.

"Shunsui-taichou... patrol... Wednesday..."

The only kind of condolences he could've given Kira would be that at least he hadn't spent the last two hours of his life trying to put all of this stuff into order - switching around duties, negotiating meeting, writing down every single change - so everyone has something to do and no one's left with too much work.

Really, and last week, Kuchiki-taichou was all, "You've got to pull more weight around here, Renji."

If only he could see Renji now.

But then again, seeing Kuchiki Byakuya's unnerving ability to know exactly what was going on with Renji at whatever given moment really crept him out sometimes. It was like he had no privacy. In the most abstract sense.

Kira was still writing something down and muttering to himself - about things completely unrelated to whatever he had said before - and Renji was wondering if he should just leave and enjoy the nice weather for as long as he could before shutting himself back in his office.

And then the door opened, and a polite, "Kira-fukutaichou," was heard, and Renji stiffened, wondering why he bothered to _think _about leaving when he should've just high tailed it out of there... seconds ago.

"Ah, Noriko-san," Kira smiled, not being able to keep a smile off of his face at the sight of any of his subordinates. "Is this matter very important? I'm kind of busy right now..."

Renji didn't have to turn around to know that that smile was on Noriko's face. Hell, he didn't need to even confirm it was the same, just-for-tonight Noriko because life was just like that. As in, life hated Renji and did basically everything that it could to make him more uncomfortable than the moment before.

Sure enough, he thought, as she walked past him to Kira's desk, it _was _just-for-tonight-Noriko, in all of her long haired... whateverness. He was so not going through _this _road again. Not as long as he could help it.

"It's not going to take long, Fukutaichou," she said, smiling, the picture of professionalism. Except, of course, for that little tone of amusement under her voice which gave Renji the impression that she was laughing. At him. And wanted him to know it. "I was just sent here because I was the only one around when Yamato and Takahiro returned, and I'm supposed to tell you that they are taking the rest of the day off, and if that's alright."

Noriko was twirling a lock of her hair from the end of her braid behind her back.

Renji wondered why he thought that he found it as flirty, as really, it was such a random thing to do.

And then he remembered who he was thinking about, here. The girl who had stripped of his dignity and all feelings of propriety - and his towel - with one extremely sexual glance. One extremely _long, _extremely sexual glance.

"Ah, okay. Tell them that it's fine, Noriko-san. Thank you for telling me."

"No problem, Fukutaichou. Thank you for your time," she said in response before bowing slightly and heading out.

Renji's sigh of relief was about to come out. It was about to. But right then Noriko's hand discretely brushed against his own, and his head snapped to his side to stare at her with wide eyes.

He didn't know how she did it to make it seem like one continuous movement. Because Kira certainly didn't seem to notice the whole hand touching incident, and the all too meaningful wink - which had him torn between feeling smug or uneasy - she threw his way afterwards before deftly exiting the room.

He should have _known_.

This Noriko character just couldn't take a hint.

He shifted uncomfortably.

Okay. So it may have been his fault. Just, a little bit. Somewhat. Indirectly, of course. Because if he knew that last night would be steadily blowing itself out of proportion - which hadn't happened yet, but he could just _tell _it was coming - then he wouldn't have done anything. He would've just gone home and slept - _alone_- and wake up in the morning without feeling like he'd die any second.

"Is that all, Renji-kun?" Kira's voice somehow floated into his head.

"Mm. Yeah. I'll be seeing ya, Kira."

Kira smiled. "I look forward to it. Have a good day."

Renji nodded in acknowledgement and headed out the door.

"Hey," smiled Noriko, and Renji swore, for a second there, his heart froze from the sheer level of shock he received from the situation - although, somewhere in the back of his mind, he had been expecting it.

"Holy shit."

"Hmm, not the most preferable answer, but it'll have to do."

Renji shook his head. The lack of sleep was catching up to him again, and everything - even the good stuff - from the last twenty four hours were now giving him a headache. And he really, really wanted to drop by the 4th Division and grab some pills. "What're you doing here?"

"I work here," she replied in an easygoing manner, falling into step beside him as he walked. "Which was why it was such a surprise - a pleasant one, mind you - to see you here."

"Hmm," said Renji noncommittally. "So... why're we talking right now? Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?"

Noriko laughed.

"I would be insulted," she informed him in a not at all insulted manner, "but I understand where you're coming from so I won't. Since I'm breaking some kind of a rule right now, I'm sure."

He didn't even get a chance to reply before she continued, "I was just waiting around to tell you that I'll be at the... wherever you were when I talked to you last night."

Renji barely resisted the urge to hit his forehead. He just knew she seemed way too good to be true. "Listen, I really meant what I said-"

"Oh, I know, I know," Noriko assured him. "Which is why I'm just telling you I'll be there. You don't have to come, if you don't want to."

...Well, that was like a slap in the face.

"Of course," she continued, placing her hand on his shoulder to stop him momentarily. She was smiling again. Oh, Lord. "I would _like _it if you came. For... whatever reason. I'm good with a repeat of last night. Really good. Only with... a few changes I just thought of."

And her eyes did the thing again and gave him a once over, making her last sentence ridiculously clear, and making him wonder how she did that without feeling like a complete pervert.

"Now," she said, leaning upwards and kissing him on the cheek before he could say anything, "I've really got to get going and tell Yamato and Takahiro that they can take the day off. They're practically falling asleep on their feet."

She was extremely touchy-feely. Renji didn't know if he liked that or not.

"I'll be hoping to see you tonight," Noriko called back over her shoulder as she walked away before abruptly flashing out of his sight.

Renji didn't reply - because she really should have known his answer - but in his thoughts, he said, _but you won't _.

And he repeated that in his head - because Renji came to the conclusion that unless he beat some sort of opinion in his head, it would never become fact. And Renji needed this thought to be fact because really, he was feeling rather disappointed at the kind of person he was becoming, sleeping around.

...Even if it was with just one woman.

Which, in anyone else's book, would be okay. Even though he didn't love her. He liked Noriko well enough, but he didn't think it was a good idea to be doing the whole sleeping together continuously thing with just one person without it turning into something more.

And Renji knew he simply couldn't let that happen.

Because someone would come out of the situation the loser, and as much as it pained him to admit it, he didn't think that it would be him.

So that was why Renji set his resolve, and told himself he would not go - for both their sakes - because Noriko would know he was serious about the whole thing if he didn't show up, and she would move on to whoever.

Why she was so persistent in getting him, Renji had no idea. Of course, it didn't matter at all, since he was _not going to go_, and really, this whole situation would be behind him soon and he could just go back to where his life was before, satisfied - but not necessarily content - in being there for Rukia as her best friend.

Really.

So he wasn't going to go.

Renji repeated that in his head for the remainder of his day, a silent mantra - that was constant in the back of his mind - that gave him strength in his own morale. It made him feel better about himself, which in turn made him happy, because of which his work was more efficient and had him thinking,_ hah, let Taichou see me __**now**_

Which is why no one could blame him for being surprised as he found himself - in defiance to all things rational - heading towards the bar he was at last night after he was done with his work.

"This ain't right," he muttered to himself as the place of meeting loomed closer and his feet weren't stopping.

But by this point in time, he really wasn't putting up a fight, not even a half-hearted one. Renji supposed that somewhere in his mind, he had accepted his fate that something odd was going on, and just told himself to... what was the phrase? Go with the flow.

Kind of like what Noriko did. The whole, flowing thing.

Renji didn't have to put up with his internal conflict - alone - for much longer, however, as a few moments later, as he was drumming his fingers against the top of the table in an uneasy sort of anticipation, he heard the footsteps.

The long, evenly paced and relaxed rhythm that made him wonder how someone could be so... passive. Or laidback. Or whatever.

And then the steps momentarily faltered, before they resumed, a bit faster than before.

No point in pretending it was a mystery on why that happened.

"Hi," she said, sliding down to sit next to him. "Not that I'm disappointed or anything - but I really didn't expect you to be here."

"You ain't the only one," he replied, taking a large gulp of his drink, and wondering just when he had become an addict. It was still pretty early for him to start getting hammered. "But for whatever reason, I can't get myself to move."

"Hmm." Noriko looked thoughtful as she gestured towards a man to get her something to drink. "I think I know exactly what you mean."

"I'm sure you do."

"No need to be sarcastic here, _Abarai-fukutaichou_," said Noriko, her lips twitching. Renji hoped it was from irritation rather than amusement - as she always seemed to be laughing at something or the other. Someone really needed to knock her off of whatever high horse she was sitting on. "I meant it."

"'N now you're gonna tell me why," Renji made a not-so-wild guess.

She smiled widely, and said, "There you go! You're learning to speak my language."

Renji rolled his eyes, and Noriko laughed. She continued, "Seriously speaking though. I didn't really think I'd see you again. I mean, of course I knew I'd _see _you again, but I thought it would be just on the by, you know?"

Renji didn't know.

"Like, I thought I'd see you walking down the street or whatever - you're really more than just kind of tall, you know - and we'd nod at each other or something. Or maybe you'd just pass me by and I'd pass you by because really, just because we slept with each other for one night doesn't necessarily mean that we're at the stage where we greet the other when we see them."

Noriko paused, taking the time to take a smooth sip of her drink. "But then I walked into Fukutaichou's office today and you were there, I was like, wow. This must be fate or something because it's way too coincidental."

"Maybe it _was_," Renji pointed out. "A freak chance."

Noriko shrugged.

Renji sighed, and dropped some money onto the counter. Enough for the both of them, which he thought was pretty gentlemanly of him. Seeing as how he paid for their food last night as well.

Not that Noriko ate a lot. In fact, she seemed to be one of those people who ate enough to satisfy their hunger – and maybe they indulged themselves in ice cream or something once in a while – but had a constant wary eye out for their figure. But still. He was digressing from his main point.

"Noriko," he said, standing up, one of his arms idly resting on Zabimaru's hilt. And then, he continued, "Walk with me."

And Renji didn't know whether his ego was working double time or not, because he started his steps before Noriko even had a chance to raise her eyebrows, knowing full well that she would be coming.

And sure enough, she fell right into step beside him in moments.

"So are we headed anywhere in particular?" she asked, looking up at him with a slight tilt of her head.

"Not really," he replied, wishing he had some kind of a pocket to put his hands into.

"I see."

And then there was a moment of silence that wasn't really that long, but it seemed to stretch out over days as they walked, the sounds of the people around them a dull beat in the back of his mind as all of his senses were aware of Noriko, and what he was about to say.

"I meant what I said, y'know," he started, looking away, feeling something akin to helplessness flow through him. "'Bout everything."

"Mm hmm."

"And I don't know what you're looking for," he continued. "But chances are you aren't gonna get them from me 'cause I just can't _give _it to you."

"Listen, Renji," interrupted Noriko, placing a hand on his arm. Renji stopped and turned around. "Did you like last night?"

He didn't even need to think about it. "Yeah."

"Well, I did too. A lot." She smiled. "And would you like to have that again?"

"Yeah," he said, but before she could say anything else, he carried on with a, "But it wouldn't be right."

"Why not? I'm the one offering," she said. "And as much as I would love the whole flowers and chocolate thing, it isn't really a big deal to me if I don't get it. At the end of the day, it leads to us sleeping together anyway. At one point, at any rate."

"But you _do _want the whole flowers n' chocolate thing," Renji pointed out. "And there's a reason I can't give that to you."

"And I would like to know what it is," she replied. "The reason. I'm dying to know, really. But I don't think we're at any point where it would be alright for me to ask you that."

Renji didn't say anything, and Noriko continued, "You're such a stressed out guy, Renji. I knew that from the moment I saw you last night. But I'm not going to lie and say I'm doing this for you. Because last night was great, and I want it again. Probably more than you do..."

She was way too straightforward, thought Renji, eyeing a rather familiar alley that was coming up. Which, added with his own bluntness, could only end in madness.

But still. Noriko was offering him that doorway again. That exit that he thought he had sealed shut that morning. Because last night he had forgotten all of the depressing things in his life and it had felt good, to have no worries.

He had felt normal – a date with a pretty girl, good food, great conversation...

But then this morning, he had felt the guilt. He didn't love this girl. He didn't think he ever could, if only because he was being so stubborn in holding on to the love he felt for a person who had no chance of returning it to him.

"...And I like you, and I _do _get all the stuff you said last night. Which is why it'd be perfectly fine - disappointing, yes, but fine - if you said no right now."

Noriko paused, and stared at him, and she really did have nice eyes. "Renji?"

And really, now Renji felt bad about the all the mean things he had thought about her so far - even though they really weren't cruel; his mind just worked that way - because who was he to judge on what she did? Noriko was who she was, and if she had such an easy acceptance on his personality - which, admittedly, wasn't the easiest to work with at times - then shouldn't he do the same?

And she was right, in the sense that he did need this. Noriko may have wanted this more, but he needed it. He really did. He needed someone touch him like they loved him, like how he loved Rukia. He had just so much pent up aggression inside of him, he knew he'd crack soon. He wished he didn't. But he couldn't help it. It was like some kind of vital _thing_that he needed in his life.

And it wasn't really the sex - although that was great.

It was an escape from his self-inflicted misery.

And Renji couldn't help but wonder how Noriko, someone who didn't understand - and probably never will - half the stuff that he was feeling, but was going to get into this anyway because they both wanted - needed, whatever - it, and someone needed to take initiative.

...Noriko would make an amazing friend.

And he could admit that, even though they just met last night. And he hoped, if nothing else, that at the end of all of this, they actually would be.

"Renji?" she asked again, no smile on her face but rather a hint of a frown. "Are you okay?"

Which really, was not a weird thing to ask as he had been frozen for the last little while, just staring at her, but not really, since his mind was completely lost and floating and thinking about something else entirely.

"We could, you know, do the dating thing, if you want," said Renji suddenly, feeling if he was going to take advantage of this situation then he should offer her the chance to do the same.

As the smile unravelled on her face, Renji felt that he had finally done something right. "Do you want that, Renji?"

"I don't mind," he replied, though really, he didn't know the answer. "But we can't make this anything more than..."

"I think I get it," she said, eyes finally catching up with her surrounding, as she backed into the dark alley and pulling Renji with her. "I think I can give it, too."

There was a flirty wink right then, and Renji thought that everything between them was good again. Which was completely odd, because really, things weren't bad between him and Noriko to begin with, and...

With her back against a wall, Noriko's fingers curled around his haori and pulled down, so he was staring right at her blue eyes. "This really can't mean anything more than what it is."

"Of course," she nodded, and breathed out, causing her long bangs to flutter, and there was a flush on her cheeks that seemed completely out of place with her personality.

He wondered why she wasn't closing the distance between them.

"'N you're okay with the whole, no strings attached, thing?"

"Mm hmm," she said not looking away from him once, and Renji found it harder and harder to keep concentrating on the task at hand with that _look _on her face that was just _asking _him to take her right then and there - which was rather tempting - but he needed to make sure Noriko knew exactly what she was getting into.

"I'm sure there's some kinda code against this sorta thing," he continued, half-heartedly, and he found his face even closer to hers than the moment before, and his hands somehow found themselves on her shoulders and working themselves to the back of her neck, fingers brushing against some loose strands of hair from her braid.

"That's okay," she murmured through partly lidded eyes, and Renji knew she was doing this on purpose now.

He also couldn't help but wonder if all of this talk about how they shouldn't be doing this or whatnot was some kind of a twisted foreplay, because really, it was working. On him, at any rate.

"...So, we continuing this here or..."

Noriko laughed slightly breathlessly - apparently it _was _working on her, too - even though nothing had happened yet and Renji felt there _was _justice in the world as he had the ability to make her as flustered as she made him.

"Or," she said, before pulling him down and - finally - meeting his lips with her own, and Renji felt his eyes close. "Definitely or."


	4. Undefined Definition

_Chapter four is here! Not so much to say though._

_Really, the only reason I'm even writing this right now is to stay consistent with the other three chapters. Eheh._

_Enjoy reading though!! _

**-- **

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 4 – Undefined Definition**

**-- **

"Why do I get the feeling that you're undressing me with your eyes?"

Now, Renji knew that Noriko was not a critical person. In fact, she was the farthest thing he had ever seen from that, and Renji, as someone who kind of fell under the category in which Noriko did not, couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in incredulity at her question.

"You're kiddin' me, right?"

"What? No, of course not." Noriko turned around from her place in front of the mirror - his mirror - and looked at him questioningly. "Why would I joke about something like that?"

And really, that was such a reasonable thing for Noriko to say, that all Renji could do was blink and let out a, "Well, it isn't something most people would ask seriously..."

"Well, I would," she winked, turning back to the mirror and once again proceeding to run her brush - his brush? - through her hair in a painstakingly slow manner, being extra careful with each stroke. "But then again, I'm not most people."

"That's true," affirmed Renji, nodding, and continuing to stare at Noriko brushing her hair, wondering how someone could spend so long in front of a mirror every day.

Which she did. For the last six of so weeks that they had been doing... whatever it was that they were doing, Noriko got up a whole half hour before he did, just to make sure her hair was pristine and tangle free and pinned up properly, with her bangs and other smaller pieces of her hair falling on and around her face in a completely impractical manner.

Cute, but impractical.

And when he had told her so, she had - after smiling at the cute part - replied with a, "What's so impractical about it?"

"Well, it gets in your eyes n' stuff," he had replied, completely logically.

"Renji, Renji." She proceeded to push him down on to the bed, untying the length of white around his forehead, before leaning down on him and whispering softly in his ear, "Do you really think that I'd do anything to keep myself from fully enjoying the gorgeous view that is you?"

Which, Renji assumed meant that the hair _didn't_ get in her eyes, and the conversation ended right there to move on to better things.

But back to the present.

"I mean, why do you take everything I say in a bad way?" continued Noriko, lips widening as she caught his eye in the reflection. He quickly averted his gaze and stared at the blanket that he was currently under. "I'm flattered that you would do that. Really."

She paused for a moment before saying, "...Were you?"

Renji sighed, deciding to be truthful and appeasing her. "Yeah."

A pause, and then, "Wow."

"What?"

"You just admitted that you imagined me naked."

"Yeah?" Renji didn't understand where this was going. At all.

Noriko just smiled, and parted her hair into three separate parts before beginning to expertly weave them into the shape of a braid, before tying it off with some sort of a hair tie that was way too girly to be compared with his own.

"Think of this as payback," Renji said instead, "for all the times you did the same to me."

"I'm good with that. But you have a whole lot of catching up to do if you think you can... what did you say? Pay me back."

Even though he knew he shouldn't ask, Renji couldn't help but it. "What d'you mean?"

Patting her hair satisfyingly after that long white ribbon had been intertwined into it, Noriko walked on over to him and sat on the edge of his bed, giving an affectionate tap on his cheek. "Take yesterday, for example."

"Yesterday?"

"Mm hmm," she confirmed tracing lazy circles on his chest.

"What happened yesterday?"

"Well, you see, another fukutaichou much like yourself - Hisagi Shuuhei, to be clear - came up to our division to talk to us about something-or-the-other to do with joining his people on some sort of assignment. It doesn't really matter what, since my name wasn't chosen out of the jar."

And before Renji could ask how that had anything to with what they were talking about, he suddenly became aware of the fact that Noriko was lying on top of him, kissing his neck and mouth and jaw and... everything, and he decided it'd be best to stay silent.

"Now, I'm not going to lie and say that he is not an attractive man. Because he is."

Seriously. This girl sure knew how to - among other things - bloat up his ego. But other times she made it so all of it would puncture and crash back down.

"And yeah, sure, every female in that room was eyeing him up like he was covered in chocolate and sprinkles or something. But I," here, Noriko paused, and it took Renji less than a second to slide his hands away from her hips and on to the back of her neck, and pulling her down to his lips, and proceeding to thank her in advance for whatever she was about to say.

"Mm." Noriko's cheeks were already dusted with pink, and she lowered her eyelashes in a way that Renji could only describe as sexy. "You totally deserve to hear what I was going to say."

"And will I?" he asked, smirk beginning to spread across his face.

"Only if you do _that _again. Seriously. Where did you learn to use your tongue like that? I mean-" Noriko stopped mid-sentence as he pulled her down again, proceeding to show her just what he could do.

"Probably the same place as you," Renji breathed a moment later.

"Wow, I'm _that _good?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's awesome."

"No kidding," said Renji. "Now, you were saying..."

"Oh, right!" She kissed him on the lips. "Well, instead of fantasizing Hisagi-fukutaichou in such a sexy manner, I imagined him a bit taller-"

Now she was at his jaw.

"-with longer, redder hair-"

Her lips traveled up his cheeks.

"-the most sexily tattood chest-"

She softly pressed down by his ear.

"-only in a towel-"

And she fully kissed him on the lips again before giving a flirty wink. "-Just waiting for me to rip it right off of him."

Renji blinked, coming to the conclusion that that scenario really needed to happen - soon - and really, if he was in a towel right now, he wouldn't be waiting for Noriko to take it off of him. Oh, no. He'd come out of it right then and there - which was now, and on his bed.

"You just imagined that, didn't you?" Noriko almost smirked - but she fell just short of that, because Noriko never smirked. She just... didn't. He didn't know why or how, since smirking was more or less an unconscious movement and...

"No."

She pouted. "Renji..."

He sighed. "...Yeah."

"I knew it," she grinned, and Renji knew that she was feeling rather full of herself at that moment. "I don't know why I bothered to ask you. I mean, obviously you were thinking about it. It's _me_, after all. And I bet you imagined me in one of those skimpy outfits in your fantasy, righ-"

Renji wondered if she was getting frustrated at the fact that he kissed her every time she started to go on a rant. And it wasn't really even a kiss this time around as much as it was some form of foreplay - because really, Noriko was just asking for it, her hair all nice and neat, waiting for him to mess it up and hearing her talk just added to his... whatever it was that wanted her.

"Mm," she said again, and Renji really liked hearing that sound come from her lips. She blinked up at him in a not-at-all innocent manner. "I think I might start rambling a lot more if it keeps on ending in a make-out sessi-"

He did it again.

"Like I sai-"

And again, wondering why he found such amusement - among other things - in doing that to her. But if she wasn't complaining, then who was he to?

Somewhere during all of this hands-roaming-everywhere thing - which Renji thought was extremely unfair because there was Noriko, all fully dressed, and there was him, who was exactly the opposite save for his hakama - Renji had found himself on top of her, her hands pulling down on thick locks of his loose hair to keep him in place, and him sliding the ribbon out of her hair and-

"Wait," interrupted Noriko, slightly breathless. "Not that I don't want to, but we really can't do this right now."

Renji stared at her, wondering if she'd been replaced be some not-Noriko being because really, real-Noriko would never say something so... weird. "What?"

"No, really," she insisted, trying to smooth down her tousled hair, and pouting when she failed to do so. "It took me all this time to get my hair the way I wanted and I'm not going to wreck it for sex that'll last less than fifteen minutes."

"...It _can _last longer... Y'know, if we really wanted to. And we worked fast..."

Noriko's lips twitched up a bit, eyes amused as she said, "No means no, Renji. I thought all guys were told that at a relatively young age."

Renji raised his eyebrows. "...And what if I decide not to listen?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet," Noriko admitted. "But I'm hoping it won't go that far ahead."

"Why?" Renji was really confused. Her request was simple enough, and he wouldn't be devastated beyond belief if he didn't get any that morning - but really. It was Noriko. And he was Renji.

And where sex may not have been the defining factor of their relationship, it was, oh, say forty-five percent of it. But that was only because everything they did somehow - inexplicably - led up to it. Someone got ticked off, five minutes later, they were taking each other's clothes off. Someone said something funny, ten minutes later, they were on the floor. Hell, one of them tried to do the laundry, and then fifteen minutes later - well, he got the idea.

"Because I say so," Noriko replied, as if that actually meant something. "And give me a few more hours. I'll come up with a more valid reason than me just being unreasonably vain."

Renji smirked. "No, I think I'm good with that one..."

"What?" she asked, sitting back up. "Me being vain?"

"Yeah."

Noriko frowned. Or maybe pouted. Renji didn't know what about Noriko was serious or not at that moment. "You know, Renji, sometimes people say things just to make the other feel better. You're not supposed to take it seriously. I'm not _that _self conscious about my looks."

"Uh, yeah, you are."

"Just because I'm denying the chance of getting laid half an hour before work-" Noriko suddenly stopped. "Oh. Right."

"Right." Renji nodded.

Noriko looked almost embarrassed, the slightest bit of pink creeping into her face. And Renji found it cute, since the Noriko wasn't the type to blush over anything. Ever. Sure, her face got all flushed when she was-

Renji cleared his throat awkwardly, wondering just when he became _this_ way.

Noriko looked at him oddly.

Oh yeah.

"Well," she said, stretching her arms over her head. "Am I cooking tonight or something? Because your last disaster in the kitchen isn't something I want a repeat of. Again."

Renji had the decency to look away in shame. Even though it wasn't really his fault.

"Yeah, and that wouldn't have happened if you weren't too lazy to get up and do something to help put a stop to the disaster!"

"I was tired. I didn't want to go out to get something to eat _again_. Was it really too much to ask you to, I don't know, boil some rice or something?" Her hands somehow found themselves on her hips and one of her knees propped up in the most standoffish posture he ever saw. But her whole body was relaxed, as though she didn't really find this conversation threatening.

"Apparently it was," Reji retorted.

Noriko blew out a breath and her long bangs fluttered. "Apparently."

"I just said that."

"I know."

"Right."

"Right."

They both stared at each other for a few moments before Renji felt the smirk making its way on his face. "You look really hot that way."

Noriko's lips twitched into a smile. "I was thinking that exact same thing, you know. Except it was about you. Not me. Cause that would be really weird."

She paused and grinned. "Except, not really, since, you know, just _look _at me. Sure, the hair may be a little off but the rest of me? No way, righ-"

Renji was glad that he really enjoyed kissing Noriko. Otherwise he thought that he may have gotten tired of doing that to her every single time she needed to keep quiet. But then again, knowing Noriko, she was using some sort of freaky reverse psychology on him to get him to initiate whatever needed to be initiated.

"Hey, Renji," Noriko breathed, looking at him curiously, "I think we need to talk about what we're doing."

"What's there to talk about?" Renji wondered if he was missing something. "I thought it'd be pretty obvious by now what we're doing."

Noriko looked like she wanted to smile, but stopped herself in time. "No. Seriously."

"I _am _bein' serious."

"It's been in my head for a while," sighed Noriko, pulling at the dark red of Renji's hair so softly that he had to close his eyes because it felt just_ that_ good. "I mean, yeah, I know what we're supposed to be doing. But somehow, it doesn't feel that way anymore."

"You mean like how I can't seem to remember what's mine and what's yours 'round here?" Renji buried in the space between Noriko's head and shoulders, and started kissing the smooth arc of her neck.

"Mm, yeah," replied Noriko, and Renji didn't need to be seeing her face to know that her eyes were fluttering shut almost drowsily. "And how it's been almost a week since I last went home."

"I've kinda gotten used to it," Renji admitted, understanding what Noriko was talking about. "It just seemed so normal for me to be seeing you once I get here or whatever that it didn't seem _too _weird to me."

"So you see that something is a bit weird now?"

"Kinda," frowned Renji, suddenly feeling rather apprehensive about the conversation they were having, his gaze at the walls rather than Noriko. "Is that what you wanted to talk 'bout?"

"Sort of," said Noriko, adjusting her position so she was staring right at him, and Renji averted his vision focused at the loop of metal hanging close to her earlobe, the small crystal there the same color as her eyes. "I kind of wanted to know where you think we are."

Renji bit his lip thoughtfully, wishing he had the answer. Yet, at the same time, he felt almost reluctant to explore this question. This request. Because who knew if the answer was something he'd like?

And since this whole problem concerned Noriko, he had absolutely no idea if he'd like it or not.

"Are we still two strangers who slept with each other?" Noriko whispered into his ear, effectively shocking him out of his trance as Renji shivered, her voice resounding inside his head like loud ringing bells even though she said it so softly in reality.

"No..."

"Are we something less than that?"

"'Course not."

And this time, there was something different about the way Noriko said it. "Are we something more?"

Renji paused for a moment, racking his brains to think of a proper answer. Because seriously. He knew that Noriko had the tendency to just let things be, even if she wasn't satisfied with the situation.

Sometimes, it was a good thing. Because there came times when Renji really, really should have told Noriko something, or maybe done something because of one reason or another - but he never did. And he could tell that Noriko was curious. Hell, he would be if she was doing the same thing.

But Noriko just looked at him questioningly, and when he stared back with a slightly defensive look on his face, she just shrugged and smiled, and let it be.

And it really sucked - because if Noriko was just the least bit pushy, he would've told her. She deserved to know about a lot of things, at any rate - about Rukia, for one, and his future decisions about his career. Because they were in a... relationship of some sort, something that they both wanted.

That warranted some sort of a... policy, right? Telling each other stuff?

But no. Noriko would tell him things, Renji would tell her things, but never things that would actually help them have a stronger bond, if only as friends. And Renji, at that moment, found a real flaw in Noriko, underneath her flirty winks and cute smiles and laid back attitude.

Noriko settled for things. If she reached a point where she was satisfied with her situation, she would let it be. It didn't matter if she wanted more to be really happy or whatever - she seemed to not want to disrupt wherever it was they were now. And Renji wouldn't have minded taking this further - he had told her that from the very beginning - as long as they both knew where the limit was.

It struck Renji as ironic that out of all things, _this _odd and completely unreasonable fear of change was what they would have in common.

Which brought him back to the original question.

Who were they to each other, exactly? What were they doing?

And Renji answered as honestly as he could to her question. "Yes," he said slowly, "but I don't know just how much more."

"Mm, I thought that might be your answer," Noriko said, smile spreading across her face, and for once, Renji didn't find it sensual or flirty. Maybe it was because the situation was as far from it as possible, but right then, Noriko's smile seemed different. Understanding, maybe. "Because I don't know either. That's why I asked you."

"Sorry I couldn' answer," he replied, suddenly just _aware _of everything around him. The feeling of the sheets against his skin, the soft traces of Noriko's hair on his cheek...

"No, it's okay," Noriko sighed, but smiled again. "I don't know why I brought it up, really. I mean, I know that... _this_... is definitely going in a different direction than what we started with, but it's not like I'm minding it."

Renji thought it was either luck or fate that the perfect opening came up right then. Because it was way too coincidental that such an opportunity would arise just minutes after he was thinking about it.

"Does this mean," he began slowly, trying to pick his words out carefully, "that you're happy with where we are right now?"

Noriko blinked, and even though her eyes seemed a bit... different than before, she wasn't lying when she said, "Yeah, I am."

Although Renji felt a bit of relief at her words, that no, this _thing _wasn't suddenly only benefiting him, that uncomfortable, nagging feeling in the back of his mind did not go away, and Renji felt as though he was missing something big, even though he was seeing everything he was supposed to.

But then the thoughts were sent out of his head as Noriko asked him, "Are you?"

"Mm hmm," Renji nodded, and kissed her once on the lips, and neither of them broke eye contact as Noriko kissed him back. "Yeah."

Noriko sighed once more, before smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"This was nice," she said, her thumb dragging across the base of his neck to the roots of his hair and back again in an infuriatingly slow manner. "Kind of different than what we usually do, but I think we seriously bonded."

Renji smirked. "You think we should do this more?"

Noriko nodded, her face the picture of seriousness. "Sure. Talking is good. Talking is great. I swear, with us, though, it's like some kind of foreplay-"

"Probably is," Renji replied, kissing her down the arc of her neck to her shoulders, smoothly sliding the collar of her robes down to her arms. Noriko shifted a little bit, but otherwise, didn't do anything to tell him to back off.

"We're going to be totally late for work, you know," Noriko noted, but the lazy smile that spread across her face and the way her eyes drooped in _that way_ told Renji that at that moment, she didn't give a damn.

"Not we, _you_," said Renji. And unfortunately, he was a direct superior to her - as a _shinigami_- and he really shouldn't be encouraging being late for work. He had enough experience with it, and didn't want Noriko to also fall into such a horrible, horrible, reputation-damaging pattern.

So with great remorse, Renji rolled off to his side of the bed, before getting up and starting for the shower.

Behind him, Noriko blinked confusedly. "Wha-"

"You're going to be late," said Renji, pushing his hair together with a tie. "And I'm not gonna be the reason for that."

"You can't just do that!" Noriko's face was flustered and indignant, and Renji wondered why that served as a huge turn on for him. "After all that talk about foreplay and giving me those looks! You can't just leave a girl lying in bed with a half finished job!"

Oh. Right.

"But you were the one who didn't want to be late," Renji pointed out.

"We won't be late," Noriko assured him, getting off the bed and all but pushing Renji into the bathroom with one hand, while the other was busy untying the folds of her uniform. "Five minutes for me, five minutes for you, and it'll be in the shower so that saves another ten minutes-"

"Are you-" Renji started to stay but was effectively cut off when Noriko pushed him against the wall. He blinked, before a grin started to come on his face. "Wow. You taking control's really sexy, y'know."

Noriko winked back. "I know."

"We need t'do this more often."

"We do this everyday," Noriko breathed, and Renji was reminded of the fact that yes, they did do this everyday, and yes, he did find it sexy everyday. "And I wouldn't be this into it right now if it wasn't for you and all of your... _looks_."

Renji looked confused. "What look?"

And Noriko kissed his collarbone, the hollow of his throat, the curve of his shoulder, and Renj's eyes widened as his breath caught in his throat. He could feel Noriko's lips smile against his skin. "_That _look."

"Well. Ah. 'Kay."

"Now, are we done talking? We only have eight and a half minutes left, you know."

"Yeah. Talking. Done."

And frankly, Renji was surprised he managed to hold out for as long as he did.


	5. Changes

_A really important chapter, this one guys. : ) Sets up the stage for the next chapter, which is a very pivotal stage of their relationship. But this chapter I love because there's a lot of Noriko, and I love writing her. And I love writing Renji, so yay. _

_That's it. Sorry for the long wait. : ( The chapter's pretty long though! So I hope that helps. Thank you to __**nostalgic-maiden**__ for editing the chapter. _

_I won't keep you any longer. Enjoy reading!!_

**-- **

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 5 – Changes**

**-- **

"We won't be late, she said," muttered Renji under his breath, dodging the other members of the 6th Division in an attempt to make it to his office on time. "Only ten minutes, she said. It's in the shower, she said."

Renji swore as he almost bumped into someone. _Well, guess what, Noriko? We're both gonna be fucking late now!  
_  
Of course, Renji knew he was being completely irrational blaming Noriko. Okay, maybe not completely, because if he stared at the facts straight on, it was pretty obvious that none of this would be happening if Noriko didn't start it. But still. It was his fault too. Somewhat. For not stopping her.

Also, Renji wondered just when he had gotten idiotic enough to believe Noriko when she said that anything would take five minutes.

Not that it _didn't_ take five minutes. Everything had gone according to plan, perfectly, even. Sure, Noriko's hair wasn't in the pristine form it was in at the beginning of the day, but they were all set to go. But _then _their before-work-make-out session had gotten slightly out of hand.

Renji didn't even know why he minded. He wasn't even late. Yet. Noriko sure as hell was, but _he _wasn't. Maybe that was the reason. He was all set to do the right thing, but then Noriko happened, and she screwed everything over for herself.

It irritated him beyond belief.

"Ah, Abarai-fukutaichou!" a person called out, blinking rapidly at the sight of Renji suddenly in front of him. "What's the hurry?"

"Rikichi?" Renji sighed as his eyes caught sight of his fellow shinigami. He rubbed his eyes a little. "Sorry 'bout that. I'm gonna be in some deep shit unless I get to my office in the next thirty seconds or so."

Rikichi laughed a little bit, causing his long earrings to dangle. "I'm sure it'll be fine, fukutaichou. And you won't be late. Standard starting time isn't for another ten minutes. Unless you're supposed to be there earlier?"

Blinking, Renji said, "What d'you mean, ten minutes?"

And then he remembered how he made his clock ten minutes fast in a vain attempt that when he woke up in the morning, he'd forget about it, think he was running late, and get to work early.

It never really worked. The moment he opened his eyes and looked at the time, he'd remember that he changed the time and sleep in for another ten minutes. It was a good routine, as far as he was concerned.

Of course, he had to choose today to forget about it.

"Aw, shit," Renji muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb. "So my near heart attack was for nothing."

"Oh, well, I'm sure nothing would've happened if you were a bit late, fukutaichou," Rikichi said consolingly. "Kuchiki-taichou isn't _that _strict. And you've always been on time, so far as I can remember."

Renji opened his mouth to say something in contrary to Rikichi's last statement, but decided that he didn't want to ruin the kid's image of him. Besides, he _had _been punctual for work for the last year or so.

Which, really, was saying a lot.

"Anyway, I'll see you around, fukutaichou," Rikichi left with a wave of his hand. "I have to get going as well."

"Later," Renji replied before sighing, and shaking his head. His trek towards his office was more relaxed now, and now that he knew he wasn't going to be late, most of his negative emotions had mysteriously evaporated.

Renji wished he knew why something so little was enough to set him off like that. Not that he showed in physical signs of being frustrated, but inside, he felt a big jumble of... stuff that made absolutely no sense.

It wasn't that he was unused to feeling completely inexplicable feelings. He had, long ago, settled for the fact that the human mind was complicated and it was a waste of time to try to figure out what was going on whenever he felt frustrated over little things.

But still.

Usually it took a bit more than being late for work.

And then he remembered - with a clear head this time - Noriko's pretty blue eyes and the way she was looking at him when they were talking, and Renji thought he knew the answer.

He sighed.

He really needed to find a more healthy way to convert his inner confusion and the like into something that wasn't related to anger in any way. Maybe he should ask Kuchiki-taichou for help. No matter what else his captain was, Kuchiki Byakuya wasn't one to just randomly lose his cool over little things.

Well, no need to ponder over that now, Renji thought as he took in a deep breath. It was best to leave behind all personal problems outside of work. And he was just one step away from being inside of it.

And thus Renji resigned himself into his office, starting to draw up a schedule on what to do with the Academy graduates in the fall. It was a fairly complicated task that had to do with the teachers, the graduates, the lessons, the missions...

And all of it had to be checked over by Kuchiki-taichou later, which meant that he would have to redo at least half of it. Not that his captain would do that just to make his life more difficult - or maybe he would, who knew - but rather that Renji often missed these important little details that Byakuya caught in a heartbeat.

Sometimes, Renji thought that his life revolved around paper work, training, patrolling, and maybe, _maybe _if he got lucky - not in the same way as Noriko, but close enough - he'd get assigned to... _take care of _things that were a problem to the peace in Seireitei.

Renji loved those the most.

No wonder the most exciting time of his life had been when Ichigo and company had burst into the world of souls with less subtlety than... well, _him_.

Not that being unsubtle was a _bad _thing, he thought amusedly as he read through the papers. Goodness knew if Noriko had been the subtle, 'I'm-hinting-here-so-you-better-pick-it-up' type, then Renji would've probably just nodded, listened to whatever she might've been hinting toward, and wonder if she'd ever go out with him if he had the guts to ask her out right there.

Renji could almost imagine the conversation.

"So, do you come here a lot?" Noriko would say - had she been the type to dawdle instead of heading straight to the point. "I don't think I've ever seen you around here."

"That's weird," he'd reply, oblivious to her implications. "Cause I'm here all the time."

"All the time, huh? Hmm. So does that mean I'd probably see you around if I ever dropped by here again?" And then she would smile that smile that Renji _now _knew meant, _I'm imagining you naked and I want you to know it,_ but back then he'd probably think it was... just a nice smile, and hell, she was way to innocent looking to be wanting anything more than a fairytale romance.

So naturally, he'd have replied with a, "I dunno 'bout that. The place's pretty crowded and if you missed me here for the last few times then I must be hard to find..."

...Or something equally as lame as that, something that would've given Noriko the message that he was a total retard, and she had better things to do with her time.

Even after spending weeks with her, Renji could not believe he and Noriko were together. Or whatever. Because from everything he understood about Noriko's character, girls like her did not go for guys like him.

It didn't matter if they both had said in the beginning that this wasn't really anything. Because even _he _could tell pretty confidently by now that she genuinely liked him. Okay, maybe he knew that before. But still. And he knew that he liked her.

Which was why things were getting a bit more gray in their relationship. Renji was getting into uncharted waters here, so to speak. Of course, he knew the terms that were said out loud at the beginning of this whole escapade. He also still - quite clearly - remembered the reasoning behind it.

Maybe it was because of that that he felt so guilty whenever he felt completely relaxed in her company, or when his heart started beating a hell of a lot faster whenever she'd smile in an exceptionally pretty way, and how he never seemed to fluster around her, and that realization in _itself _was what made him fumble for words.

Renji shook his head. He was getting _way _ahead of himself here.

Back to the original point. Noriko. People like Noriko wanted guys like Hisagi. Someone polite, who came from a good family, someone that they'd introduce to their parents and feel proud of the fact that they got such a good catch.

Not someone like Renji. He was rude, he was brash, he had an accent, and he literally _looked_ like trouble, with his out of control hair and tattoos.

And it wasn't that Noriko was the embodiment of the perfect woman. There were so many things about her that normal people would find annoying – ridiculous vanity, outrageously flirtatious, absolutely no shame, hardly ever took things seriously, and so on and so on and so on - but for whatever reason, he liked those things about her.

Maybe it was because these weird things about her made her not-perfect enough for him to deserve her, and all the messed up things about him made him also not-perfect enough for her to deserve him.

Because of the fact that she was pretty and nice and funny - not to mention _she _liked _him _at such an intense level that it sometimes shocked him still - he knew that he never would've been able to survive living with her and not feel completely inferior if she wasn't so picky about her food and obsessed over her hair and the behaviour that was so completely _girly _that it sometimes made him wonder just _what _she was doing as a shinigami.

Although, in retrospect, even if those things made her easier to live with - it was only in a mental level. _Actually _living with a person who was just so... _Noriko _was sometimes exasperating.

But in a good way.

Renji smiled a little as he came to the conclusion, before pausing, and realizing that Noriko took up way too much of his time.

He could see her right then, her reaction if she heard this.

Fluttering her eyes and dragging her tongue across her lips in a purposefully slow manner before letting the all too satisfied smile flirt across her face. "My, my, Renji. That makes me flattered. _Really _flattered. Enough to give you whatever you want kind of flattered, if you catch my drift."

And even though no one else was around him at that moment, Renji had to clear his throat and think of something cold to force the heat in his face to disappear.

Even at work he couldn't escape her. Not that he particularly wanted to, but it was now like he had no Renji-time. Because for whatever reason, at this point in his life, everything somehow, inexplicably, led back to Noriko.

Of course, it was probably because they were new to this thing. Once the _passion _or whatever of their relationship was dealt with, he was sure she'd stop popping up in his head every time he saw something remote resembling the color blue.

He was just wondering what was taking so long. These kinds of things were supposed to be finished up within the first few weeks, right?

Well, no point in dwelling over that now. Whoever it was that said that a person becomes happier when they "stop caring about things that don't really need over analyzing and let them be," was a smart, smart man.

Or woman. Because he could completely see Noriko saying something like that.

He stopped writing and frowned.

He really needed a life outside the one he had at work and the one with his non-girlfriend-slash-friend-with-benefits.

Maybe Kuchiki-taichou would be free and wanted a chat?

Renji snorted in mirth. Yeah, and maybe Ikkaku decided to grow out his hair and Yumichika decided that being pretty wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and he'd be better off if he just ditched his arsenal of beauty products.

Right.

_No._

Did Rukia get back yet from her chunk of time in the living world? Probably not, seeing that something or the other was always going wrong in Karakura Town. Renji sometimes wished he hadn't gotten promoted so much. Then he'd be getting into some wicked fights and actually, you know, get around to _protecting _people.

Maybe he'd go and catch up with Matsumoto after work. It wasn't as though he was phasing out of the lives of his friends, it was just that he felt pretty bad that instead of everyday after work, their meetings had become more of a three-times-a-week sort of things after he met Nori-

Renji frowned.

This had got to stop.

If he didn't know any better - did he know any better? - he'd say he was on the road of becoming obsessed. Which was Not Cool. At all.

But speaking of friends, he thought it was the slightest bit odd that he had never met any of Noriko's and she didn't me-

Renji cleanly tore the paper he was writing upon in half, and threw it in the trash. He didn't know why he was doing this now. All of this didn't need to get done until the weekend, and really, that was two days from now.

Glancing at the weather outside, Renji couldn't help but appreciate the fact that Soul Society didn't have precipitation an awful lot. In fact, if he was being honest, he was sure that it never actually rained or snowed there.

Unless Hitsugaya got pissed over something and went all psycho with his sword.

Not that that happened a lot.

He was also glad that Kuchiki-taichou was the kind of guy who gave him his work at the beginning of the week, and as long as he got it done by the end of the week, then he could basically do whatever he wanted.

Renji thought he might as well go and see how the training was going with the newer members of his division. He hoped there was someone who was as pathetic at kidou as he was. Maybe they'd become friends, talk about conspiracies against them because really, it made no sense that every other person in the 6th Division was so absolutely brilliant at hadou or bakudou or whatever and he simply... wasn't.

Or maybe he'd go near the woods of the 13th Division, make sure his swordsman skills hadn't gotten rusty. Ukitake's training grounds were way better than any around here, at any rate, smack in the middle of Seireitei.

Deciding he cared more about that than some kids who would probably drop out as a shinigami because of the rigorous training schedules and all-too-real field missions, Renji gave a decisive nod and stood up.

Except, right then, the door to his office was pushed open, and Noriko walked in a leisurely manner, taking in the room as though it was a vaguely enjoyable scenery that she was looking at in a park.

And the first thing that Renji said was, "What're _you _doing here?"

Really, it wasn't _his _fault that his mouth worked faster than his head did. He was just glad that Noriko took nothing insulting personally - because in her head, everything could be turned into a compliment or the person saying it was just wrong - and just smiled brightly.

"I came to see you, of course," she said, and Renji resisted the urge to roll his eyes and say, _No kiddin',_ and waited for her to continue.

"And?"

"I talked to your captain," she said, walking towards him and kissing him on the lips. "We had a rather... odd conversation."

The conversation had to have been more than just 'odd' for Noriko to be acting this way, all thoughtful and floaty, and not talking about a hundred words per minute, only speaking when prompted.

Shifting rather uncomfortably on his feet and looking at the Noriko who was biting on her lip and loosely holding onto the front of his haori, he asked, "...You okay?"

Noriko blinked, and shook her head - not to signify a 'no,' but rather to snap herself out of whatever stupor she was in. And then she smiled her pretty smile, and Renji came to the conclusion that whatever it was that had Noriko so out of it at least wasn't something to be seriously concerned about.

"Eh, it's nothing big at all," she grinned, before pulling him down a bit and kissing him again. "I was just going to ask where your office was, and he happened to be the first person I saw. Don't worry," she added, the angle of her lips changing slightly to look amused, "I was perfectly respectful towards him. No flirting whatsoever."

"I wasn't worried," said Renji, looking rather affronted. Really, he wasn't.

Noriko winked. "Sure. But I think you'll be happy knowing that had I flirted, I don't think he'd be able to pick it up unless I was being as outright as I am with you."

Renji didn't have time to be insulted as he remembered the earlier conversation he imagined in his head, and rather, he felt a rush of embarrassment as he realized that the revelation he came to was something that Noriko had known all along as well.

"Don't be embarrassed, Renji," Noriko said nicely, patting him on the cheek. "I like that about you. No beating around the bush, as they say. It's quite refreshing."

"Uh-huh. So, why're you here?" He then added without much pause, "Not that it's bad or anything."

"Oh, right. Well, I just came by to tell you that I'm being sent away on assignment." Noriko looked like she would've rolled her eyes had she been any other person, but she settled on just giving a dramatic sigh. "A punishment you could say for being late."

"What d'you have to do?" Renji asked, curious, despite the fact that Noriko seemed more than just a little down.

Noriko looked at him for a moment before smiling.

"Oh, it's not something horribly unentertaining," she reassured him, "It's quite exciting, really. Some problems with bandits. It's been a while since I had some action."

She quirked her lips into a flirty smile. "I mean the fighting kind of action. Although, to be honest, I'm not really into the whole fighting thing. I prefer the _other _kind of action. The type I'm currently getting from you."

She then gave another exaggerated sigh and closed her eyes before wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her head on his chest. "I was just kind of sad that I'd be away for a whole week, living in the streets and messing up my perfect complexion."

And as Renji stood there - not returning her hug, or embrace, because he could never be as open with such intimate encounters with Noriko as he could be about their more sexual ones because dammit, at moments like these, which were few and far in between, he realized that this was not how their relationship was supposed to be but he could not bring himself to stop it - he realized just how _delicate _that Noriko was.

Delicate in the fullest extent of the word.

Renji had always been surrounded by strong women his entire life. Matsumoto was tall and proud and elegant, and there was a grace in the way she walked that radiated power and self confidence. She was strong, and she knew it, and those who didn't had some nasty things coming their way.

Rukia may have been tiny and thin, but she was fierce, a force of nature. She was loud, she was cocky, she went after what she wanted and had little to no fear. At their first encounter she knocked a grown man to the ground without even trying - and she was so _small _back then - and ever since then, Renji could never see her as anything but brilliant and powerful.

It was the same with everyone. Hinamori, who was polite and sweet, but she was head strong and stubborn, and that was something he saw in her in one of their first time in the Academy. Shihouin Yoruichi, who was a goddess of a legend, and an even more brilliant one when he met her in real life, someone who could kick his ass a thousand times without batting an eyelash.

But then there was Noriko. She was just so normal in comparison to everyone else - she went with the flow of things, rather than rushing in and creating her own path. She was easygoing, and nice, and just no one exceptional in terms of power, because had she been, he would've known.

She could get seriously hurt in a mission like the one she was about to go on. And it didn't matter that she was obviously qualified, because Noriko was just so... Noriko, that the urge he felt swell up within him to go along and protect her wasn't all that unexpected.

With everyone else, Renji had seen their strength right away, whether it was outright like Rukia's, or silent like Hinamori's. But here was Noriko - he had known her for a while, spent the greater chunk of his time in her presence, and yet he knew nothing.

Oh, he knew _things_. He knew her favourite color - red - her favourite food - tempura. He knew that she liked to read, and wanted to go somewhere in the living world where it snowed. He knew all sorts of things, like she found almost everything funny, and would laugh at his jokes even when they sucked and she liked to sleep in, but couldn't because she needed absolute darkness to do so - but if he thought back at it, he realized he didn't really know all that much about her, and she didn't about him.

And then he realized he shouldn't really concerned about all of this. Shouldn't be. Because that's not what they were doing here.

"I'm weirding you out, aren't I?" Noriko said finally, jolting him out of his thoughts as she stepped back from him.

"No," lied Renji automatically, because saying otherwise would be mean, even though he was sure he was being weirded out in an entirely different manner than what Noriko was saying.

"Sure I am," Noriko smiled, and even though it was relaxed and easy, she seemed rather disappointed. Before he could say anything though, she continued, "But that's okay. Because I was originally here to explore some more familiar territory."

"Eh?" Renji asked, completely confused.

But it was nice, seeing any hint of negativity gone from Noriko's eyes, and instead her face was back to its usual open expression, clear eyes with a bit of mirth dancing in them that said that she was enjoying herself.

She was disappointed but happy. It was an odd contradiction that seem to follow Noriko everywhere.

"I'll be gone for an entire week, Renji," pouted Noriko, giving a sensual flutter of her lashes before leaning forward to give him a kiss. "Don't I get a good-bye make-out session?"

And Renji thought he could give her that. But this time, when he kissed her, it wasn't the usual type of fast paced action that they were used to. It was slower and deeper, and Renji thought Noriko may have very briefly opened her eyes before closing them back and the grasp she had on his arms tightened slightly.

"Do you have any family?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth after they pulled apart, and Noriko was still blinking rather dazedly, a lazy smile on her lips, and she looked as though she was trying to process what he had said.

"What's this about?" she asked instead, and Renji frowned slightly since Noriko usually just answered the question instead of replying with another one.

"Just wanted t'know," he replied shrugging, feeling his nonchalant defence come up automatically. He felt embarrassed now, realizing that what he has said was not the right thing to say at all right after kissing Noriko. Or kissing anyone really.

Noriko's eyes immediately got softer. Which was weird, because eyes don't usually get soft. But her entire expression seemed to get kinder, which was also kind of strange since Noriko was not a person who looked mean. She'd probably end up looking retarded if she tried.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely, and she kissed him on the chin. She was smiling, and the tension that he hadn't even realized he had in his chest - the kind that he usually got before speaking in front of a big group of people - dissipated. "It was just kind of abrupt. Usually your questions have somewhat of a logical train of thought."

"I thought 'bout it before," he admitted. "Just thought it was kinda weird that I didn't know anyone you knew and you didn't know anyone I knew and we've known each other for over a month..."

"I'm sure I know someone," Noriko said optimistically. "But then again, you're friends with the really, really important people. I have normal, uninteresting friends."

"I have normal friends," defended Renji, even though if he was honest with himself, he knew that wasn't true. The people he hung out with were not normal at all.

"Okay," replied Noriko, but her eyes were laughing at him and the twitch of her lips that she was failing to control was telling him that she wanted him to know it. "But to answer your question, I have one friend."

"You have _one _friend?" asked Renji mostly sceptically, and a little part at the back of his mind hoping that she was kidding otherwise he'd feel like such a giant bastard.

"I have one friend whom you would be interested in knowing about," corrected Noriko. "My closest friend. We're practically siblings, except that he's under the impression that I constantly flirt with him. Until I met you. That's when I stopped, he said. Personally, I think he misses it."

She grinned and winked, and Renji absently thought that he'd miss this too, if Noriko were to stop.

"His name's Mazaki Hikaru," continued Noriko. "Likes to be only called Hikaru. No cute nicknames or short forms. And it really is too much of a bother to tease him about it, so I just call him Hikaru."

She paused thoughtfully.

"Of course, if I happened to be stronger than him, then I think I would've done it." She gave a long, sad sigh which would've struck the sympathy chord inside him had he not known that it was completely staged. "Unfortunately, he could kick my ass from here to the outer edges of Soul Society. So I thought it'd be better if I didn't take the risk."

"I think I've heard of him," said Renji. "I mean, not for all the reasons that you just said, but his name sounds really familiar."

"Well, I'd sure hope so," she smiled. "He's pretty strong. Third seat. 8th Division."

"Well, that explains it."

"Mm hmm."

"You'd like Matsumoto," Renji offered, feeling as though he should be saying something at this point. "You're both into the whole... shopping thing. For clothes. And stuff. Well, Matsumoto's into it. And you _seem _like you're into it."

"Oh, I am," she assured him. "But I don't have a lot of clothes. It kind of sucks. I have maybe five outfits now. Two regulation uniforms, one formal kimono, two normal kimonos, and a reserve outfit if I need to go to living world on short notice."

She sighed. "You don't know how difficult that is for a girl like me."

This time she really seemed to be put out, so Renji patted her on the shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Because he didn't get what was so bad about what she was saying.

"I mean, look at me Renji," Noriko was saying, gesturing at herself, and Renji wasn't going to ignore an invitation like that, even though this was probably the only time Noriko said something like that without meaning it in the way that Renji was taking it.

"The only jewellery I have on are these," she pointed towards her ears where there was an extremely thin metal loop hanging rather close to her earlobe, passing through a single blue stone.

"They go with your eyes," Renji found himself saying automatically, feeling his face heat up as he realized his extremely lame comment.

"Thank you. Hikaru said that too when he bought them," Noriko smiled fondly, and Renji really wanted to meet this Hikaru person sometime soon. "But that's not the point. The point is that I love my job, really, but sometimes I miss the dressing up just to look good without being scared that it'll get ripped up and destroyed because I didn't have time to change when we have to go do field work. And I can't wear necklaces because they could choke me, or those pretty and big hoop like earrings because my ears could get ripped off, practically."

Noriko made a face, and Renji winced at the horrible mental picture that popped into his head.

She sighed again and dragged a hand through her long bangs before letting them fall back to the side. "My hair is the only thing I have left, and there's only so much I can do with that without it getting impractical, you know?"

Um, no.

But it wasn't like Renji had absolutely no common sense. He wasn't going to say _that_.

"I think I kinda get it."

Noriko smiled. "You're so great, Renji. I love it when you say the thing I want to hear, but it doesn't quite work when you're such a horrible liar. I'm probably a better liar than you and I don't even lie."

Renji wondered why he felt like he needed to prove that he was the better liar. Because it wasn't like lying was a good thing. In fact, it was one of the worst things about human beings in general.

And he told this to Noriko.

She laughed. "Well, of course. That's why I don't lie. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't be awesome at it."

Renji gasped. "Oh my God," he said, "The size of your ego's making it hard to breath."

Winking, she replied, "It isn't ego if it's the truth."

"Right."

"So let's get back to our original topic of conversation before we got horribly sidetracked," prompted Noriko, moving closer until she was practically on him - or as close they could get to doing that while standing up. She smiled. "I'm leaving. For an entire week. And living on the streets. Oh, dear..."

"So basically you came here to get some before you leave?"

Noriko hesitated the slightest bit. "It's not necessary. Don't you have to finish work?"

"Kuchiki-taichou ain't as anal as people think." Renji quirked an eyebrow. "Are you feeling okay? Cause it's not like you to be saying things like that so many times in one day."

"I'm great," she smiled. "And, you know, since you're offering..."

She pushed him back against the wall of his office.

"You wanna do it here?" asked Renji, ninety-eight percent shocked and two percent in awe of her boldness. "With Taichou's office less than a minute away?"

"No, we can go wherever you want." She kissed him once on the lips. "You know, as long as you carry me there."

"But you can shunpo there as fast as I can," Renji pointed out, but bent down anyway so she could climb on to his back. It wasn't an unfamiliar ritual - he did this at least five times already, whenever Noriko felt particularly lazy about going to work.

Which was more often than he'd like to admit. God, she was _so_ lethargic sometimes.

"I'm a kidou user, Renji," said Noriko in a good natured manner, wrapping her arms around his neck before playfully snapping her fingers. Renji grimaced as perfectly controlled sparks of reiatsu flew at his face, tickling his cheek. She didn't need to show off like that... "I'm not especially talented in anything but spells."

"Yeah, well," he grumbled. "That's one thing you have over me."

Noriko trailed a finger down his cheek, and Renji felt himself shiver. Her voice was flirtatious - and something else - as she said, "I have a lot of things over you, Renji. But you probably have more on me."

And Renji didn't answer to that because he knew that Noriko didn't need one.


	6. Not So Perfect

_Because I am a total jackass, I let it be this long before finally posting this up._

_But to my defence, which I get isn't worth an awful lot, it was terribly difficult to get this chapter out. In fact, I just finished typing it out about nine minutes ago, so yay for getting it out so soon?_

_Well. Basically, I'm sorry. I just hope you like reading this. And I hope I managed to do this chapter justice._

_Sigh._

_-- _

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 6 - Not So Perfect**

**-- **

Renji stared up at the ceiling and counted exactly twelve tiles before cracking.

"So you're going'," he said, not looking at Noriko as she did her ritual of playing with his free hair by wrapping it around her finger, occasionally tugging on it, and sometimes going as far as to twist it into tiny braids.

"Mm hmm," she said, kissing his cheek and smiling. "In exactly thirty minutes. So I think I can still lavish you with attention for the next forty-five or so seconds before I move onto more important things like my hair."

"You and your hair," said Renji with a roll of his eyes.

"Yes, me and my hair. We're partners, really. Because I wouldn't look nearly as good if I was bald and obviously, my hair would not do justice on anyone else's head except mine." She patted him on the cheek. "Might as well take care of it now, don't you think? The next week or so will be pretty rough. I haven't had a field mission in months."

"So you'll be gone for a week?" he asked, wondering how weird his life would get without Noriko's constant company at every possible free moment that he had.

Noriko nodded in confirmation. "Maybe a couple of days longer, maybe less."

"Ah, okay." Renji closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He kissed the tips of her fingers on her right hand and she giggled. "You'll be using the shower first then?" he asked.

Noriko's body became tense, like a spring that had been pressed down and could erupt at any moment. Her smile seemed rather forced as she said, "Yeah."

That caused him to blink and sit up. Because, if everything else, Noriko was not so... controlled. She had a horrible poker face, as far as he could see, and everything she felt, she showed. And most of the time, she was happy, smiling or flirting or obsessing over something or the other that he could care less about.

But now...

"What's wrong?" asked Renji, leaning up with his elbows and frowning at Noriko as she pressed her lips together and gathered sheets up to her chest. "You're... mad?"

He thought that he sounded rather confused as he said that out loud. But that was okay because he sort of was - Noriko looked the exact definition of the word: her jaw was rather tight, her fists were clenched against the sheets, and her over all face looked rather troubled.

But this was Noriko.

Noriko didn't _get _mad.

"I'm not mad," Noriko said, trying to smile a little bit but it ended up looking more like grimace. She started sliding off the bed. "Why would I be mad?"

Renji caught her wrist and she stopped. "I dunno. But you are."

"It's nothing," she smiled, but the smile was as fake as fake smiles could get, and Renji had never before wished that Noriko _wasn't_ so easy to read.

"If you say it's nothing," pointed out Renji logically, "then it must be something."

Of course, Renji should have known better than to use logic on a woman who he was assuming was angry. But Renji was still trying to come to terms with the fact that Noriko wasn't really as unflappable as she looked.

"Renji," she began slowly, softly pulling her arm out, "you know how I leave you alone when you don't want to explain something?"

"Yeah," replied Renji. "But this is different."

"How?"

"Because... you're not happy," frowned Renji. "When it's me, I just don't want to talk. I'm a bit of a bastard that way, I guess."

"You're infuriating." Noriko's lips twitched as though she wanted to smile, but her misery - or whatever - overwhelmed that as quickly as it had come. Renji thought that he may have even imagined the whole thing.

"Tell me," he insisted. "Is it something 'bout me?"

"Let it be, Renji," Noriko said, and her voice was quiet.

"I just thought," he said slowly, knowing that he was pushing buttons here, but he couldn't get himself to stop. He felt this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach and his chest felt rather heavy at the realization that Noriko _didn't trust him enough to tell him_, "after being together for almost-"

"We're together?" Noriko interrupted sharply. Renji was taken back but her cutting tone. "I see."

"What d'you mean, 'I see'?" He frowned.

"Meaning this is an actual relationship now, instead of the two of us just sleeping around-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Renji snapped, feeling his temper flare. "You're actin' so-"

"There's nothing wrong with me," Noriko let out before stopping, and taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We should've both just shut up about all of this-"

"You realize we still don' know why you're actin' all..." Renji thought for the words. "Well. Why you're acting like how I would when I have a ten foot pole shoved up my ass-"

"That's such a nice thing to say, Renji," Noriko said, voice sweet, although her expression was anything but. Renji decided he didn't like this Noriko at _all_. "And I thought I had every right to act the way I did, considering-"

"Considering?" prompted Renji, curious about what was making her angry that he let all the other odd things that Noriko was saying pass by.

Noriko looked away and crossed her arms. "Considering that we've been _together_ for weeks. Considering that I'm going away for a week and I'm not even getting a _goodbye_."

Words couldn't begin to describe the incredulity that Renji felt.

"That's it?" he gaped, not believing that someone so Noriko - well, anyone, really, but specifically Noriko in this case - could make such a big deal over something so stupid.

Noriko's face resembled something of a glare. "Yes, that's it."

That's so stupid, he wanted to say, but he knew that it would be the absolute wrong thing to say at this moment in time. "But I thought that it'd be obvious-"

"Obvious that I was expecting too much," sighed Noriko. "I'm sorry. I was asking for too much, breaching the boundaries and what not-"

"You know that's not what I mean!" Renji interrupted loudly, his glare out doing hers in terms of frustration.

"I know exactly what you mean," she replied, and her tone seemed condescending to his ears even though Renji knew he was being kind of irrational right about now. "We just talked about it this morning. I forgot, that was all. You said so at the beginning, right? That you couldn't offer the emotional attachments and it was basically just the sex-"

"What the _hell_?"

If Renji was the girl in this situation, he would've slapped Noriko right then. Sadly, he wasn't, and no matter how much his hands were itching to shake some sense into the girl, Renji didn't hit women - Rukia didn't count because, well, Rukia was Rukia - unless there was some kind of a battle going on.

Noriko looked at him oddly.

"What do you mean, 'what the hell'?"

A strange combination of disbelief and frustration was going through Renji just then, and for the oddest reason, he felt like laughing - which was just so completely ridiculous because this situation was the exact opposite of funny.

He didn't though, and instead directed all of his agitation into his glare.

"Don't you dare," he said heatedly, struggling to find the correct words. "Don't you fucking dare cheapen my character by saying that shit-"

"What shit?" asked Noriko coolly, and Renji found it odd that she regained her composure like that. Except this wasn't Noriko, the nice girl. This was some other, deep dark part of Noriko that he never saw. "I'm telling the truth-"

"'I think I get it,'" Renji interrupted, quoting Noriko from what seemed like so long ago, "'I think I can give it too,' you said. When the hell did I say that all of this was just 'bout sleeping around?"

"Then what _did _you mean?" asked Noriko, her cheeks flushed.

Renji opened his mouth to answer, but then immediately closed it. He knew the answer, of course - it constantly bounced around in his head every time he saw Noriko - but he felt like such a pathetic person for having the reason be something so... pathetic.

_Because I wanted someone to want me,_ he wanted to say, and that was the deep, dark secret he couldn't bear to let out. _I wanted to be with someone who wanted me as much as I wanted them. _

Except, of course, Noriko had blown away any and all expectations that Renji had. He'd have to be blind in so many levels to not see that she clearly wanted him. That she actually liked him, as a person, liked his company - it didn't really make sense to him, either - and so on and so on.

Which was why he couldn't say something like that. What would happen to whatever form of respect Noriko had for him once she found out that he was so insecure about himself? What if she thought that she was some sort of a replacement?

Because Noriko wasn't, and if he said what he wanted to, then it would sound like that. He never had something with anyone as he did with Noriko. Sure, he 'went out' with girls before. It was nice and everything, but Renji just didn't care enough, and everything faded out after a while.

Noriko was persistent - except, in a way that she left everything up to him. Which was really great of her, really. Sometimes. Other times, he wished she would just tell him straight up that she wanted _this_, and he sure as hell better give it to her.

And her company was addicting. Maybe it was because she kind of just phased into his life rather than blatantly running in to it. She liked to talk, she liked to talk to _him_, she found his stupid jokes funny, and even if she had some stuff about her that irritated him, he thought that the fact that she was so genuinely nice made up for it.

Looking at everything, Noriko was a great thing that happened to him. He didn't want to lose whatever he had with her. It made him feel like a downright bastard because he was in love with someone else, but he just couldn't bring himself to. He was being selfish - but really, his soul was that of a human, so what else could he possibly do?

So Renji just swallowed the odd lump in his throat down with his anger - something that took all of his will to do. This was a stupid argument to start with. But he still had to answer Noriko's question, because she was looking at him expectantly.

"I meant," he started, not really lying through his teeth because he was just omitting some parts of the whole truth and emphasizing on other points, "that we _do _things. Things that we both wanted to. I meant that we should have fun, and not have too much expectations-"

"Are we working out now?" Noriko asked, mouth set in a straight line.

"I-" he began to say before abruptly stopping.

He actually had to blink at his realization, and if he was standing up, he would've taken a step back.

Noriko was putting the decision of their relationship on his shoulders.

And that wasn't right.

He got the fact that she didn't want him to be in a place where he didn't want to be. He got it, and it made him like her all the more. But she needed to tell him what she wanted, too, so they could see where they could go form there.

Otherwise she wouldn't be _happy _happy, and it made him almost sad that she didn't seem to mind.

He took a deep breath before continuing, because he hoped that Noriko would understand. "Noriko, d'you... want something specific?" he asked slowly, "cause if you do, you need to tell me."

Noriko looked at him confusedly, all traces of everything else gone. "What?"

"What you're doing ain' fair," he said, and Noriko's eyebrows furrowed in further confusion. "You're putting all the responsibility on me when this is half 'bout you too and it's not fair that you keep expecting me to decide how everything's gonna go."

Noriko blinked before gaping at him.

"I don't believe this," she said, voice full of disbelief, "you're actually trying to somehow turn this around and blame me for the fight? When it was _you_ that was being shallow and insensitive towards _me_?"

And at that, Renji just stopped trying to be reasonable.

"Oh, that's it," Renji swore, glaring as hard as he could, "I don't know where the fuck you're coming up with all this crap but you seriously need someone smack some sense into you-"

"If you'd just admit that you were being a jerk by forgetting to even say goodbye," Noriko interrupted loudly, "then there would be no reason to be having this conversation that's clearly causing both of us a lot of problems-"

"But I didn't do anything wrong," he snapped, temper flaring. Renji didn't think he ever felt so frustrated, not understanding what was going on and why. "It ain't my fault that you're bein' all prissy 'bout something so stupid-"

"If you're like this," Noriko said, staring at Renji with a sort of aggressiveness that he didn't think someone as nice as her could have, "so rash and full of pride and so completely sure that you're not wrong, then you know that she'll never want you."

Renji halted abruptly. "I-"

"She wants someone else, doesn't she?" She still had the gall to look at him straight in the eyes as she said this, "Someone who you can't possibly compare to, someone who she holds higher than everyone else?"

Everything that Renji may have wanted to say blanked out of his head.

It wasn't that what Noriko was saying was true yet _not _in so many levels - yes, he was rash, but he didn't have the type of pride she was talking about. He knew when he did something wrong, and tried harder to correct that about himself, to be a better person. Renji knew that he was a good person - he may have some not so good traits, but he was still _good _- and it didn't really matter what other people said.

It wasn't even that Noriko knew that he was in love with someone else. Somewhere in the back of his mind he supposed he always knew she figured it out. He wasn't ashamed about the fact that he loved Rukia - he was just regretful that she didn't love him back, and he couldn't feel the same way towards Noriko, who deserved way more than what he was dishing out.

No.

What really threw him was that it was Noriko, and she was doing this on purpose.

Renji didn't know whether to feel angry, disappointed, or shocked.

He thought he may have felt a combination of all three. It was overwhelming him, making his heart beat faster, yet it felt almost heavier than usual, as if each pump was a chore rather than a default move. He couldn't think clearly at all, and he had a half crazy idea of challenging her to a duel - at least if they fought it out with swords it wouldn't hurt this much.

But of course he couldn't seriously do that. Because he had fallen for Noriko so fast and so hard that it was hard for him to imagine what it would be like without her - which was probably why he was having such difficulty figuring out what he'd do now that she'd leave for a week or two.

Except all this was just a vague reality in the back of his mind that lasted for maybe a second, at the most - and even then he didn't pay it much heed. His mind was narrowing in on just one fact, and one fact alone.

Noriko knew exactly where to push. She may have been laid back most of the time, but she absorbed details like a sponge would with water. Noriko knew what got to him, and even though he sort of understood that she may have been angry, the fact of the matter was that she was _intentionally hurting him_.

If this was the empty and desolate feeling that constantly plagued Hollows - and really, hollow was the perfect word to describe this - then Renji felt pity for their existence for the first time.

At least this was the first - or maybe second - time he had felt this. Renji didn't think there'd be a point of living if the only thing someone would experience would be this.

He released a shuddering breath, and wondered if the person he was seeing in front of him now was really the person he had been seeing all this time.

"You are," Renji began slowly, finally, emphasizing each word that came out of his mouth, "one complete and total bitch."

"Better to be a bitch than a sex-crazed bastard." Unlike all her playful replies before, this one was cool, quick, and to the point.

Renji didn't bother stopping the laugh that came out of his mouth. By this point, he didn't even give a damn that he was about to be very, very cruel. Was it wrong of him to want to try and cause as much anger and hurt and doubts in Noriko as she was making him feel?

Absolutely.

Was that going to stop him from going through with it anyway?

Hell no.

"Don't get yourself confused with me there, Noriko," he said. "I'm not the one with so little self respect for myself that I'd go and sleep with the first man I see."

"That would be you, as you can see," replied Noriko, eyes crinkling into a smile that had such a dark edge that it made his heart pound, and not in a good way. "And it's not really _my _self respect that's on the line here if you really want to get in to that subject, Renji."

"I wouldn't be too sure 'bout that."

Noriko's narrowed her eyes but didn't stop him as he reached forward and placed his palm on her cheek. The tips of his fingers grazed the loose strands of her hair.

"After all, aren't you just a replacement for the person I'm apparently not good enough for?"

He felt a sort of vindictive satisfaction as Noriko's breath caught in her throat. And Renji almost felt the guilt that followed immediately after engulf him completely, making him want to take back everything he may have said that was even remotely hurtful.

Almost, being the operative word.

He was still too furious at having Noriko prod towards each and every one of his insecurities about himself to bring himself to care.

"Get out," whispered Noriko, staring at him with blazing eyes. Renji wondered if that's how he looked to her right now as well. Noriko still managed to look amazing to him, fierce and beautiful with her eyes flashing a gorgeous blue.

But this person in front of him could never compare with the girl with the easy smiles and flirtatious winks and a face that was open and kind and genuine.

Unfortunately, he realized, that this was a part of Noriko as well, and even though Noriko could bring out his best possible side, she could also bring out the asshole of the highest calibre that lived somewhere deep within him.

Which was really, the only explanation on why he went, "It's _my _house that you've been leeching' off of all this time, sweetheart. I ain't the one that should be getting kicked out for acting like a bitch."

Noriko didn't crack at that - although her shoulder shook for just a second - and frankly, Renji didn't expect her to. Noriko was the type to bend with the wind, and go with the flow, but never break - even now, with her hands clenched so tight and her lips pressed together to stop them from shaking.

She opened he mouth to perhaps say one last comment, but instead closed it again, and looked at him with such intensity that he thought he might burst into flames if he continued to stare back, but couldn't bring himself to look away.

And then in what seemed like a fraction of a second, Noriko closed her eyes and flashed out of his sight.


	7. Point in Weakness

_See, I'm such an awesome person. I've got the next chapter up in a week! Yay. This is really quite the huge deal, you know. : ) Because usually I don't work this fast. _

_And I'm happy with this chapter. It's long, too!_

_Slight spoilers for the recent chapters in Bleach. Involving Renji's battle with Mr. Eight. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you probably won't even notice. : )_

_Much love to __**nostalgic-maiden**__ for editing this chapter. During TIK as well! You know, it's really weird if you're watching someone read your work in front of you. Seriously. You have no idea. I have never felt as self conscious as I did about my writing before. _

_Ever._

_Anyway. Enjoy the chapter!_

**--**

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 7 - Point in Weakness**

**--**

"The world hates me, Mats'moto," Renji declared, slamming his finished bottle of sake on the table, and gesturing the bartender for another one, "Cause there's no other way to explain why my life's goin' down the fucking drain."

And Renji was absolutely confident in his statement.

Because the last eighteen days had been pure and utter hell, and there was no way things like that happened to just anyone unless the Entire Universe had something against that particular person.

It wasn't bad enough that his last encounter with Noriko had been such a nasty and bitter one. After his initial anger had worn off, Renji had finally realized just how screwed their relationship was. There was no way any couple - or even friends, family, anything - could survive if their first major fight had ended with both of then practically stabbing the other in the stomach with a verbal knife.

Sure, Noriko had acted like a complete psycho (yes, _psycho_). And yes, she had crossed whatever imaginary line that existed between making a person feel bad and making a person hate himself. But then again, Renji had done the exact same thing - sure, it may have been because she had practically shoved him into a corner, but he _had_.

And it was then that he had remembered with a dry throat what Noriko had said.

"I haven't been on a field mission for months."

Noriko hadn't been on a field mission for months. Meaning that she might get hurt. Meaning, worst case scenario, she might die, seeing that the 3rd Division dealt with District 49 to District 62, and those were the areas mostly plagued with bandits.

Bandits with zanpakutous.

Sometimes he wished he had had the common sense in asking to see Noriko's skills. But not in a totally obvious way like, "Yo. Noriko. Show me what your sword can do," because he may have been a bit dense, but he wasn't a total idiot.

No, he could've asked her for a sparring match, so he "didn't get rusty," or ask her to test out a new move (which would've most likely been an old one which she knew nothing about). He knew that members of the 3rd Division tended to be the one with the well rounded officers, but he also knew that Noriko specialized in kidou - the only strand in the whole shinigami business that Renji knew nothing about.

But whatever.

He should have said something. Something stupid that Noriko would probably have seen through, but would indulge him with anyway. Something that would let him see her level of strength. Something so he didn't go to sleep every night wondering if she had died, and they had never gotten a chance to apologize.

Especially since she had promised she'd be back in a week (maybe two days more, maximum), and currently, it was getting eerily close to the end of week number three.

Renji supposed he could've gone to Kira and asked about her - it wasn't really a secret that he and Noriko had something going on - and it wasn't really his pride that was stopping him.

It was more the fact that the day when Renji had thought, _If she's not back in one more day, then I'm goin' right up there an' beatin' the information outta him_, he heard the news that 8th Division reinforcements were bring sent out also. But the situation wasn't big enough to get the higher officers involved (higher meaning lieutenants and up), so there wasn't a _real_ threat.

Sadly, that knowledge didn't help him at all.

And hearing that made him more nervous in finding out what was going on, since he may not like the answer.

He supposed he was somewhat of a coward that way.

That would explain why he threw himself into work like the world would end if he didn't, but still did something incredibly lame like carrying around the ribbon that Noriko usually braided into her hair.

It was kept out of sight, of course. He knew that if Ikkaku - or God forbid, Matsumoto - found out about it, there'd be no living it down. But he couldn't find it in him to leave it alone, and found himself doing stupid things like using her hairbrush - which, strangely enough, made him feel better and worse at the same time.

Renji wondered when he had gotten so corny.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, every other thing in his life seemed to be working in super mode to make him go insane.

It was bad enough that his relationship with Noriko was in tatters. But then he realized that everything else was starting to close in on him too.

Noriko may have been a huge part of his life - but she didn't take up his _entire _life. Renji had other people too, and he was realizing just how much he had to lose if he didn't start to get his act together soon.

And, if that wasn't just the perfectly made poisonous cake in the history of _ever_, Kuchiki-taichou had to go and be the freaking icing made out of toxic waste (all in the metaphorical sense because Kuchiki-taichou was kind of awesome, and Renji was just being bitter at that moment).

"Your work has dropped in terms of content, Renji," he had said in that maddeningly slow voice, "It's become sloppy, and frankly speaking, you have the potential to do much better. I have seen it. Which is why I'm wondering why you have been acting like a freshly graduated shinigami rather than the fukutaichou you're supposed to be."

Really, only Kuchiki Byakuya could weave in an insult and a compliment with such delicacy.

"Not only that," he had continued, "but the other officers have been filing complaints. Personal life is supposed to be kept outside the office, Renji, and you're not doing that. I don't know what's wrong with you right now, but fix it. If you don't pick up your work then I'm afraid I'll have to take action."

Right.

Action.

Renji wished he had had something witty to say to that. Unfortunately, he didn't, and even if he did, he respected his captain way too much to say it. So he settled for a rather stiff bow, and a promise to do better.

"Yes, Taichou."

Which he had been trying to do.

Sort of.

Now not only were all of his personal relations in danger of being thrown into the river full of crocodiles, the realization that he had a habit of drinking whenever his brain felt too full (which was happening more often than he'd like lately), but his job was in danger as well.

And Noriko could be dead.

Never before in his life had he wanted someone to talk to so badly.

He wanted Rukia to slap some sense into him, to make him laugh, to make him happy. Rukia knew exactly what to do with him, exactly what would get his mind off of things, exactly what would make him the opposite of bored or sad.

He also wanted Kuchiki-taichou. His captain had this calm and in-control aura around him all the time. It made even the most energetic of people calm down and just be at peace with themselves. Renji wanted to go into Kuchiki-taichou's office and just sit there and listen to the scratches of quill on paper.

He wanted his 11th Division buddies. He wanted Zaraki-taichou to order him around so he didn't have to think, and Yachiru to pester him into playing tag. He wanted Ikkaku to challenge him to a fight. He wanted Yumichika to brag about how awesome he was and give Renji a good laugh.

And he wanted Noriko, who could make him smile and laugh and piss him off at the same time. He wanted her to talk to him about everything and anything, maybe play with his hair, or kiss him, or _more_.

But no one was there.

Rukia was on duty at Karakura.

Kuchiki-taichou was picking up his slack at work.

The 11th Division was welcoming new recruits.

Noriko was out doing her job.

Renji realized just how pathetic and messed up he truly was at that moment - and so, he made an attempt to forget everything. Except it didn't really work, and it made him even more depressed - which was depressing in itself, since Renji wasn't usually the depressed sort of guy.

And then, as he was downing his fifth drink of that evening, came Matsumoto.

God, he loved that woman.

Which was probably why he was pouring out all the problems his life had at the moment to her, and she wasn't even complaining, just listening to all the crap that coming out of mouth and giving him the occasional pat on the shoulder.

"An' if all of that wasn' bad enough," Renji took a big gulp of his drink, "Kuchiki-taichou managed to-"

"You already said that, Renji," said Matsumoto sympathetically.

"Huh? Oh." He frowned. "Well then, can you believe that all of this shit started to pile up on me the exact moment I realized that-"

"You said that too." Matsumoto was smiling now. "I think you've exhausted your brain's capabilities of thinking up of problems - not that you _haven't _managed to hit every single dilemma to ever exist, anyway."

Renji groaned and buried his head in his arms. "I dunno what to do."

"Then you're lucky I'm here to put my awesome problem-solving skills to use," Matsumoto beamed, giving him a hard slap on the back. And despite himself, Renji smiled. "And the first step is figuring out what's the catalyst of all of this."

Renji snorted. "That's easy."

"Noriko?"

"Noriko," he nodded. "I dunno how to explain it. It's not like it's her _fault_ everything's happenin', but it's _because_ of her, you know?"

"Uh huh," said Matsumoto with a nod. "Well, from what you're told me about what's been going on lately, I think it's safe to tell you that - to me, at least - she sounds like a complete and-"

"Don' finish that," Renji interrupted wearily. "Noriko's not like that. You'd totally love her, Matsumoto. You two'd get along so well that the rest of us would be like, 'what?'."

"Really now?" she smiled, and Renji wondered how someone with a personality like Matsumoto's and her smoking hot body could still be single. The world really had no justice. "Well, maybe. If I ever forgive her for being such a jerk and making you feel like ten pounds of crap."

"No-_o_," he said, and there was a definite hint of a whine in his voice. "God, I'm just bein' an asshole. Yeah, she pissed me off, but I was actin' like a bastard with her too. I did tell you that part, righ'?"

"Yup," said Matsumoto brightly, and Renji found himself futilely trying to resist the influence of her cheer, "but I still don't like her. Because you come first, _way_ before some random girl I pointed out to you at a bar."

"What if I say I totally forgive her?" he asked, somewhat curious and beyond flattered that he had a friend as loyal as Matsumoto. "Would you be okay with that?"

"Totally. But I'd still be kind of biased, I think."

"Heh. I dunno about that. After like ten minutes with her you'll be eatin' out of the palm of her hand. Or, well, I dunno. You're Matsumoto. Maybe you wouldn'. I didn' either. I think. Or did I?" Renji blinked and tried to make his train of thoughts resemble something close to coherency.

It wasn't really working.

"No, Renji, you didn't," Matsumoto laughed. "I think that's why she liked you, really. You're too stubborn and uptight and had to make her chase after you. Girls like her are used to guys coming after them, I think."

"Kinda like you?" Renji asked, but there was a teasing quality to his tone, and Matsumoto smirked back at him, rather than taking it personally.

"Totally," she said. "Except there's no way she'd ever reach the pinnacle of greatness like I have."

Unexpectedly, that simple statement made him deflate again. Because if he had said the same thing to Noriko, she'd say, "Well, can you blame them? I mean, just look at me. Aren't I the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen?"

But there'd be some light humour in her eyes, so he'd would know that she wasn't taking herself half as seriously as someone like, say, Yumichika would have been (but then again, Yumichika was somewhat of an enigma that couldn't be put into the same category as the rest of the human population).

Why was he such a moron who messed everything good in his life up?

"Snap out of it Renji." Matsumoto poked his shoulder. "This is not completely your fault. A relationship is a two way street. And from what I understand, this is really obviously divided between the two of you."

Huh. Renji hadn't realized he had said that part out loud. He must've been more wasted than he thought.

"I thought I came first," he said after a while. "Aren't you s'posed t'be on my side?"

"Oh, I am on your side," she assured him. "But I'm not going to lie to you and say that you didn't do anything wrong either. Sure, she may have been the one to start it, but you could've, I don't know... been the better person? No one can _force_ you to act like a bastard, you know."

"You'd be surprised."

"I'm sure." The sarcasm was kind of hard to miss.

"You don' get it, Matsumoto," Renji sighed. "It's more complicated."

"Then explain it to me, why don't you?" asked Matsumoto, focusing her eyes on him. "I'm not exactly going anywhere."

"Noriko was separate from everythin' else," he said. "She had her own life that was differen' from mine. She wasn' involved with all the drama an' shit that's always goin' on 'round here. It's like she was another room or somethin'. Like, you guys are in one room to help me get away from her, but she's the only person in _that_ room to get me away from everythin' else, you know?"

He paused for a second. "Does that make any sense?"

"Perfectly." And Matsumoto looked so sombre that he paid as much attention that he possible could at his state. "You care for her a lot. She's an important part of your life. She has a _room_ in your _head_."

The last sentence was said in such a way that Renji thought it was full of implications. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what Matsumoto was talking about. He wished she would just tell him.

"You should get home, Renji," Matsumoto said at long last after neither of them had been talking for more than just a little a while. "Try and have a good night's sleep and forget about everything for a bit. Your head'll be clearer in the morning."

"I can't sleep," he moaned. "Every time I try to, my head gets bombed with all sorts of shit that I don' want t'think about."

"Then try taking a sleeping pill or something," advised Matsumoto. "They can really put you to sleep. Trust me. I know you've got some lying around. Didn't they prescribe some to everyone third seat and up?"

"Oh, yeah." Renji totally forgot about those. It was so long ago. "But would they still work? It's been like... years."

"It will, don't worry," she assured him. "Because just the other day I drank way too much coffee and was bothering Taichou at like three in the morning and he ordered me to take one. I was out for the next six hours."

"'Kay," said Renji, wondering why he didn't do the same. And then he remembered that he _hadn't_ remembered that they existed. And since he was drunk as hell anyway, he added a, "Thanks, Matsumoto."

"Whatever for?" she smiled. "I'm just here drinking with my buddy Renji."

This was what he liked so much about Matsumoto - she knew that some things were meant to be kept quiet, and pretended that nothing happened. A quality like that wasn't in every single person he knew.

Matsumoto may have been the only one.

So he smirked, and said, "Of course. I'll try t'get myself home without fallin' into a ditch an' dyin'."

And when Renji finally stumbled home – after getting lost only twice – he stared at the mirror in his bathroom, instead of opening the said mirror and pulling out the little bottle of tablets.

He didn't know if it was the talk with Matsumoto or what, but when he looked in front of him, he realized the person reflected in the mirror wasn't Abarai Renji.

Abarai Renji was proud and fierce and strong. He always had on a cocky smirk and never let any problem in his path stay there for longer than needed. It didn't matter if he had to beat that problem up or work his ass off to solve, it got removed, and got removed fast.

And, well, Renji thought that he still looked the same. Sort of. He had his long red hair, the tattoos on his face, and the bandanna around his forehead. But there was no semblance of a smirk on his face, and his posture seemed almost defeated.

Yet strangely, seeing that person in the mirror did nothing but piss him off.

This was insane, he thought narrowing his eyes. This was insane because yes, his life was pretty much screwed up, but so _what_? His life had been worse than this when he was living back in Rukongai. This couldn't possibly be as bad as that.

Or when Rukia was going to be executed for no crime, but some other man's mistakes. His best friend was going to die and he could do nothing about it, yet that hadn't kept him down. He found a way to do something about it. He didn't sit around and drink like he had nothing left to live for (not that he was doing that now as though he had a problem, but he was still doing it).

Or what about the time when his muscles and limbs and organs had been crushed and snapped from the inside, and he could do nothing but helplessly let it happen? He survived that kind of pain, he survived through so much, and Abarai Renji was not the type to let his world fall apart just because he _thought _it was alright to act pathetic.

Yes, he had screwed up. Yes, he had problems.

But didn't everyone else in the world? Did they all act like their life was over?

Hell no.

And even if_ they_ did, _Renji _sure as hell wasn't going to.

No way.

Renji never really remembered his parents. But he was sure that if they were out there somewhere, they would've been somewhat proud that he turned out to be a person who learned from his mistakes.

Someone who fixed them.

And it didn't matter if Renji had a hundred bad traits - because he knew that at least he was honest and not a hypocrite.

He would do it. He would fix things.

And Renji had so much faith in that statement that he didn't need the sleeping pill to sleep well that night. He didn't know whether he was trying to prove a point to himself or not, but he had opened his mirror and stared at it for a long time before glaring and slamming it shut.

It was strange feeling, having his head just completely calm and his heart rate even. Renji couldn't remember the last time he had felt so in peace with himself. His eyes already felt like lead from before, so all he had to do was lie down and just... sleep. He thought he may have even had some entertaining dreams involving a Ferris wheel and tempura and sunglasses and the most gorgeous smile he had ever seen in his life.

Renji woke up the next day completely rested and satisfied.

But true to his word, the first thing that Renji did after the obvious stuff that one did after waking up was go straight to Kuchiki-taichou's office and bow his forehead to the ground.

"I'm sorry for not meeting your standards, Taichou," Renji said, eyes glued to the hardwood floor of his captain's office. "But I swear I'll work fifty million times harder and make up for acting like such a disappointing officer."

Kuchiki-taichou looked at him coolly.

"In fact, I'll train the new recruits for the next few weeks," Renji said, and vaguely felt like he was sucking up. "And get my paper work in on time. I'll also do the bi weekly rounds around the division for the next two months."

And when Renji finally looked up to see if he was going to get shot with lightning for acting like a moron or not, he was somewhat surprised to see a small – almost nonexistent - smile of approval on Kuchiki-taichou's face.

Awesome.

Hopefully things with Noriko would go just as smoothly.

He snorted.

Who was he kidding?

Sure, Noriko was easygoing, usually, and from what he understood, she'd forgive him right away. Probably. Maybe. She didn't like holding grudges and tried to be friendly with everyone, and they were both too deeply ingrained into the other's life to completely let go of everything because of one - although completely disastrous - fight.

But that wasn't the problem.

Renji didn't know if _he_ could forgive _her_.

But how could he _not _forgive her?

And even though he was supposed to be over looking the training of the new recruits, his mind was starting to drift away - but then he realized that he had just sworn to Kuchiki-taichou that he would work harder, and Abarai Renji did not go back on his word.

So he sighed, and proceeded to yell.

"Nakamura, what the hell is with that grip?" Said shinigami squeaked, her face turning red from embarrassment. "Jeez. What are they teaching in the academy now days? Your thumb always has to be outside your fist! Do you want t' crack it straight down the middle or something?"

And it was such a nice day too. Bright skies, a crisp autumn chill, and the clearing of dark grass had a thin lining of frost that crunched under his feet.

He could even forgive the fact that winter - though no snow - was coming soon, and he severely disliked the winter.

But he _disliked_ the level of incompetence in the new members of his division even less.

"Twenty downward slices, alternating sides between each strike. _Now_, you morons. A reverse right hand block after slice seven. Heavy strike towards your right at slice twelve. Low vertical block after slice seventeen followed by right crescent kick- gah."

There was no possible way he was this bad when he graduated.

"No, no, no," he said, striding forward to Minami who had the absolute worst stance he had ever seen. Ever. "Knuckles point to your destination, damn it. And you, Kiratsuchi, you have to keep your wrist firm but elbows an' arms loose. Otherwise your sword'll go spinning out of your hand with a weak ass hit-"

But Renji wasn't going to start swearing, even though every inch of him yearned for it. No, instead he spent an entire fifteen minutes correcting the stances of every single person who needed their stances fixed, and then had them run through drills again.

He even took the time to point out mistakes - _again_- until all of them were moderately well paced and looking happy with themselves. In fact, so good was Renji's mood that they all seemed to have gotten it, he convinced himself that these sloppy mistakes wouldn't show up again tomorrow.

Because really. He had seen them spar with each other before. They were quite excellent. Except they seem to crack under pressure whenever he was watching. It made him want to see if they'd implode out of anxiety if it were Kuchiki-taichou watching them instead.

Renji chuckled at the thought.

"Kay, guys," he yelled, calling the drills to a stop. "Awesome job. Now, if you can keep yourselves like this instead of getting high and forgettin' everything you learned today, we'll move onto the more complicated blocks and slices."

He almost laughed at the look on their faces. He was exaggerating, of course. Because in sword you only needed the twenty basic thrusts and blocks, and everything else was just a variation or combination of those with different stances.

"You guys can have practice fights now," he said, smirking with the flair that he seemed to have lost the last few days, "and if anyone thinks the want to try to face me, then come an' get me. Be prepared for an ass-kicking."

He thought he heard someone murmur, "Well, Fukutaichou's completely back to his normal self."

"Oh wait," Renji suddenly added, "zanpakutous only. No kidou allowed."

Groans erupted all around him.

"Abarai-fukutaichou, you're being unfair," Nakamura said, struggling to break out of her shy shell to voice this great blow against justice, "Just because you aren't - I mean, your skills in kidou aren't exactly - just because your specialties lie in swords-"

Her awkward phrases were making her nervous and she flushed, and Renji laughed.

Poor kid. If he yelled at her right then, it would be like kicking a dying puppy. The puppy being the simile about her lack of self-confidence. Really, Nakamura was a nice person from what he saw, and had no reason to think she was the most useless thing to grace Soul Society.

So he decided to do his good deed of the day.

"Heh, you're right," he smirked. "Fine. Kidou allowed cause Nakamura was the only one with enough guts to voice out her thoughts. While _still _being respectful."

Nakamura's eyes widened as she ducked her head down and blushed.

Renji hoped he did the right thing. Because this would either end up magnificently - with people talking more to Nakamura - or in utter madness - with everyone being envious that Renji singled her out.

Thankfully, it turned out to be the former, as one of the other girls quickly came up to her and asked to be her sparring partner, as she was "quite competent at kidou as well."

Renji felt quite happy with how the situation turned out, and relocated to his position on top of the leafless tree at the corner of the courtyard.

"My, you really are a sweet person, aren't you?" a voice grinned in his ear. "If I wasn't completely sure already that you're one of the best things to happen to me since the creation of shampoo, I would've totally converted after watching this take place."

In all of an instant, Renji's mouth dried and his breath caught in his throat. He couldn't even move his head to make sure out of the sheer magnitude of shock that he felt at this situation.

But Renji didn't have to, as he felt fingers grasp his chin almost softly, and turn him around so his vision was met with the sight of eyes that were the brightest, clearest shade of blue he ever saw.

"Hey there, Renji." Noriko leaned forward and sparkled him a smile. "Talk with me?"


	8. A Moment that Counts

_I can say nothing about my lack of updates except that school is time consuming, I'm lazy, and JE has sucked my soul (for more information on the last one, check out the 'update' part of my profile). _

_That being said, this is a super, __**super**__long chapter. I haven't gotten back the edited version back from __**nostalgic-maiden **__yet, so bear with the dumb mistakes. But it's full of a lot of drama and self reflection, in true NSA fashion. _

_Enjoy! (And please comment.)_

**--**

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 8 – A Moment that Counts**

**--**

Noriko had beautiful eyes.

It wasn't exactly the first thing Renji noticed about her, but it was definitely one of the characteristics that he always associated whenever her name was mentioned. The eyes were not only a perfect color, but they were a very nice, soft shape that were neither too big nor too small.

And then there were the eyelashes.

The lashes framing her eyes were thick and black and long, but they weren't long enough to touch her cheeks when she blinked. He thought that if it did do that, then he wouldn't have found them half as attractive, despite what all the other guys said about them being sexy.

Yes, Noriko had pretty eyes.

But the thing that Renji noticed most - and first - about her was her smile.

The smile was so gorgeous that Renji often wondered why she always aimed it him. It made him wonder why she was so eager to flash its beauty to everyone and anyone all the time, instead of reserving it, and making people feel as though they were witnessing something great when they saw it.

Maybe it was because she liked seeing people happy. Maybe it was because she liked it when people knew that she was happy. Maybe she thought that since it was so amazing anyway, she might as well let other people be graced with it.

He thought that it was a combination of all three.

But the point of all of this was that Renji had lost whatever he had been trying _not _to lose the moment she had smiled at him way back when, even though he didn't know it. Combine that with her eyes, and he never stood a shadow of a chance.

It wasn't so much that Noriko was the sexiest thing he had ever seen - because she was up high on the list, but _seriously_, she wasn't like... Yoruichi-san or something - but more of the fact that everything about Noriko combined to make the most irrational, irritating, intriguing, and incomparable person ever.

And so great was his appreciation of Noriko, he had actually forgotten that he was supposed to be angry at her at that moment.

"I know I have the tendency to dazzle even the most un-dazzle-able of men," she grinned, "but I'm sure even _I _don't have the ability to make Abarai Renji speechless."

Except that she _was _dazzling him, she _was _making him speechless.

"You're back," he breathed, the only two words he could get out through the dryness of his throat.

If possible, Noriko's grin widened and got even brighter. "Of course. You know how impossible it is for me to resist your fantastic charm and company. The last two weeks out there nearly drove me insane."

"Two weeks..." he repeated - somewhere in the back of his mind he found it funny that they were having this conversation while sitting in a tree - before blinking in sudden realization. "You shouldn' be here."

Noriko raised her eyebrows, smile instantly vanishing from her face. "What?"

"No, no, I meant-" Renji wondered why he always spoke before his head had processes what it was that he wanted to say. "You just got back. You should be reportin' back to Kira an-"

For the first time, Renji noticed the dried dirt marks that were on Noriko's face, the small tear that was at the bottom of her uniform, and how her hair looked significantly less pristine than it usually did.

"...and you should also stop by the 4th Division t'make sure you haven't gotten anythin' wrong..." Renji finished, trailing off at the end.

"Oh," was Noriko's reply, before the smile returned, full force. Renji found himself being relieved as she took a hold of his arm in that way that she did when showing her random bursts of physical affection. "Then why don't you accompany me there?"

"I'm actually supposed t'be supervisin' the trainin' right now," he said, actually feeling regretful at the fact. "I'm sor-" he started to say again, but to his surprise, Noriko reached her hand forward and pressed a finger on his lips.

"Don't be," she smiled, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Your sense of responsibility is one the most brilliant things to ever exist, I think. Shame to let that slip by just because I showed up."

Her finger trailed down the sharp slope of his face, and Renji felt his eyes instinctively close.

This was what he had missed.

Constant signs of affection that never failed to make him feel wanted, Noriko's ability to unknowingly understand what he was thinking, the way that her attitude seemed to flow so well with his, the way she never felt any reserves in saying those heartfelt things that simultaneously made his heart beat faster and his cheeks darken in embarrassment.

The way that she knew that his first loyalty was to be true to _himself_, and never tried to make it anything different.

Renji wasn't the type of guy who would ever compromise his set of beliefs for the sake of another person - especially since he knew what he was doing was the right thing. Maybe, if someone managed to prove to him without a shadow of a doubt that the way he thought was incorrect, then he would force himself to look at a situation differently.

A lot of girls thought that it'd be romantic if they managed to turn a guy around. Make the loud, brash, Rukongai-born trash in to someone sweeter and more charming - someone who they could take home to their parents and have them smile at him approvingly.

Rukia wasn't like that - she was from Rukongai herself, and knew him personally, and they both knew just how hard it was to live such a life, and the only way to survive in a place like that was to have faith in yourself, never mind what the rest of the bastards said.

And Kuchiki-taichou... he was the type of person who was unbiased, to put it simply. As long as Renji had the skill and power to be in the level of rank that he was in - and didn't outright disrespect his captain - then Kuchiki-taichou didn't care if Renji wasn't as noble as he was. You didn't really find a lot of people who were like that.

But here was Noriko, who was as well brought up a girl as any. She looked like she was from one of the first five districts of Soul Society at any rate. But not only that, she was the _feminine _type of girl. The type who liked clothes and jewellery and nice guys. Sure, the whole, sex on the first night thing kind of threw him off the loop, but that was something that had just happened. Neither of them had planned it, but he had found himself liking her jokes and smiles - and who knew what she had liked in _him_ - and it had just... happened.

But he was digressing.

The point was, Noriko _liked him_. Abarai Renji. She liked him for him, and never tried to change him, and even the traits that he thought would be a turn-off for most women - swearing, stubbornness, not-being-able-to-verbalize-what-he-felt - Noriko liked about him.

In fact, Noriko had said to him back when they first… got together, "I still don't understand how someone like you was still single when I propositioned you."

Renji had raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "If you say so."

"No, really," she kept insisting as she fixed her hair. It was one of those nights where both of them were too tired to cook, and just wanted to go out to eat. "I thought Matsumoto-fukutaichou was after you too, to be honest-"

"'Cause I'm obviously the most charmin' guy there is, right?" Renji joked, leaning against the door with his arms crossed.

Giggling, Noriko walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

"Well, _I_ like you," she said, winking, "and really, my opinion is the only one that matters."

"Clearly," nodded Renji seriously, which caused Noriko to laugh even more.

"Mm hmm. And I say that you _are_ the most gorgeous thing ever. Sex-on-legs, as they say. Eye-candy. And I'm not sure if anyone's ever you told you this, but you have one damn fine-"

"Movin' on!" Renj interrupted, feeling his face go as red as his hair.

Noriko grinned.

"Well, I was going to say damn fine personality, but whatever. I see that my compliments are being waved off as usual."

"Quit poutin'," Renji said, but grinned anyway when she replied, "But I look so _good_ when I do!"

Yes, there were some things about Noriko that he could honestly not resist. Beyond her physical beauty, she had a fantastic sense of humour, was laid back as hell, and didn't take herself half as seriously as someone might think.

He supposed there was a streak of vanity in her, as Noriko was as aware of her own good looks as Renji was. Furthermore, she knew exactly how to use it to her advantage. But for whatever reason, she always seemed to joke about the fact that she was good looking in a way that it was difficult to honestly believe her to be egotistical (although he wasn't naive enough to believe that there wasn't a single shred of arrogance in her).

"Anyway," Noriko's voice pierced through his head. "Since I'm beyond flattered that you're so concerned about my well being, I think I'll go and put you out of your misery, hmm?"

"Right," he replied, wondering how Noriko had the ability to make something that was completely about her own well-being sound like she was doing _him _a favour.

"Right is right," she grinned, before leaning forward a little bit and hesitating.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Um," she said, biting her lip. This was about as awkward as Noriko got, and Renji would be lying if he said he wasn't interested.

"We... we need to talk," she said very quickly, fingers tugging on her hair in an agitated way. "So meet me at the place that we were at that time by that thing when you're done with your shift, okay? Okay. Of course it's okay."

Before Renji even had a chance to gape, Noriko threw him another smile and disappeared.

He blinked.

Oh. _Oh._

Renji felt somewhat like an idiot for forgetting the situation. He and Noriko were _fighting_, after all. It took only a moment for all of those moments to catch up to him, all those words and looks, both filled with hurt and the intention to hurt. Noriko's pretty face and pretty eyes looking at him so intensely, her easy smile morphed into something dreadful yet captivating.

But seeing Noriko after almost three weeks, her face smudged with dirt, her uniform torn, and her hair in a disarray, Renji didn't feel the anger come inside of him. There was just relief, that _thank God she's alright and not dead_, and in his mind, he knew that she was already forgiven for every ounce of self-loathing she caused him to feel.

It was terrible, Renji thought, to be so intertwined with someone that you couldn't even help how you felt around them.

"-no you do it-"

"I said I don't want to-"

"You're clearly his favourite, Nakamura-"

"W-What are you talking-"

"Oi," Renji frowned. "What the hell are you guys doing?"

It was only when awkward glances were exchanged between the recruits, pathetic excuses were made, and not one of them made eye contact with him that Renji realized that all thirty-five of them had seen his exchange with Noriko, and hadn't done the assigned practice he had just given them. He didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or irritated. Perhaps both.

Minami gave Nakamura a not so subtle jab from behind. "Um," began Nakamura, looking down on the ground. "Um, Abarai-fukutaichou-"

Renij dropped down from his spot on the tree. "What?" he asked Nakamura.

"We were wondering if it would be - I mean, it's completely your decision, of course - I mean, we were wondering if it would be alright if we - us - could go for the rest of the day-"

Renji blinked.

"That it?" he asked, completely taken aback as they confirmed with nods. He had been expecting something more along the lines of, "We were wondering if you could tell us who that lady was," or, "What's someone like _her _doing with _you_, fukutaichou?" or even, more simply, "Are you two going out or something?"

Renji felt awkward. "Did you finish all the drills?" he asked.

They nodded.

"Well, then, I guess that's alright." He sheepishly scratched his cheek. "I'll see you all in two days, then. Remember to practice, got it?"

Various forms of, "Yes sir, fukutaichou, sir!" met his ears, and he bowed to the students as their sign of dismissal. They returned the gesture before leaving.

The sun was low on the sky, though not quite near sunset. The sky was still blue, at any rate, but there were tinges of pink on the horizon. He stayed at the training field though, standing in the middle of the now empty field. He wished he had something to do - because just _standing _there made him feel pretty useless, and made the fact that Noriko was waiting for him somewhere was floating at the forefront of his brain.

Or will be waiting for him somewhere.

Whatever.

He didn't even know where she _was_. "That place by the thing we were at one time," was hardly the most accurate of directions.

But that wasn't the real issue here. If Renji wanted to - and he did, he really, _really_ did - he could try and locate her reiatsu. And Renji was confident he _could_ locate it, as he could actually recall the feel of her reiatsu from memory. It wasn't that weird, seeing the amount of time they spent together.

No, the problem was he - Abarai Renji, the person who had faced off against soul society, his captain, many, _many_ Arrancars - was scared of meeting Noriko.

Noriko, with her soft eyes and pretty smiles. Noriko, who could make him feel like the most amazing person in the universe, someone who deserved everything he had and more. The person who kissed him and touched him and looked at him _in that way_, the way that made his heart beat faster and want her all the more. The person who could stare at him straight in the eye and say, "You're brilliant, in every possible way, so _be _that brilliant person I think you are and think that about yourself too," and actually mean it.

But she was also Noriko, the person who took one look at him and saw the darkest secrets in his heart and used it against him.

The thing with Renji was that it took quite a lot for him to lose faith in someone. If there was someone who had managed to come close to his heart, they would stay there. Even if they hurt him, even if he never spoke to them again, he would always remember them, always wish things had worked out differently. But Renji knew that logically, he couldn't be with someone who could intentionally cause him to feel so low.

Sadly, there was a huge difference in convincing your mind and convincing your heart, and no matter how many times Renji told himself that, he couldn't seem to change his heart the slightest.

He had never missed Rukia so much as he did now. Not that he would've _talked _to her about this - God, he could just imagine the smirk on her face - but just having her there would help, in so many ways. Rukia had been the constant in his life for so long, she knew exactly how to deal with him. She didn't even need to know details about a problem to know that it was making Renji feel like crap. She'd make him feel better, help him come to his own solution, and manage to poke fun at him in seven different ways all in the same night.

But she wasn't here, and Renji couldn't hold that against her, either. If he were in her place, he knew he'd be doing the same. Hell, he _was _doing the same.

He knew better than almost anyone else how it felt like to want something so much that it _hurt_, but not being able to have it - whether it be because of honour, loyalty, or because he was just a good guy.

The safety of Rukia's heart - the security of Rukia's happiness - was something that he treasured far more than the safety of his own. He didn't think he could ever bring himself to say anything to her that would cause her pain because she thought she was causing it to him.

Her giant heart, that compassion that she had towards everyone, it was one of the things that Renji loved the most about her.

Renji closed his eyes and imagined a star, one that was flying through the air and wished as hard as he could. He wished for Rukia, his best friend, for her to come and say, "well, aren't _you _looking the part of the village idiot today."

He hadn't noticed he was on the ground until he opened them and found the sky gazing back. There were splashes of purple, like the color of Rukia's eyes, bursts of blue like Noriko's earrings, and deep, dark red, like the strands of his own hair. It was very beautiful, and for some time, he just watched.

And, as though he had been hit on the side of the head with a tin can, Renji realized exactly which place Noriko had been talking about.

Renji couldn't help but smile, feeling a completely ridiculous and out of place burst of giddiness at having the ability to figure out exactly what "that place by the thing we were at one time" was.

It was a month ago, perhaps, that they were there. Renji had stayed late for work, and nearly died of shock for the nth time when he found Noriko waiting for him right outside his office.

"Honestly," she had said with a glare. It was more cute than annoyed though. "They wouldn't let me in even though I _insisted_ I was special. And I was left waiting here all this time because I promised I would and would have felt bad if I left not that I had anywhere else to go, really-"

Noriko looked sexier than anyone should have at twelve o'clock at night. Her lips dark red and cheeks flushing, all being framed by her straggly hair, as though she had fallen asleep and forgot that hair tended to get messy after that. There was no way she would've been seen in public like she just got out of bed after a very satisfying night before if she could help it.

Renji was reasonably shocked. "I didn't think you'd be waitin' for long."

"Well, _clearly_ I should have gone home, seeing as how this great act of kindness from me is being treated as nothing." Noriko actually looked genuinely upset, her eyes not shining in playfulness as they often did.

"No, no," Renji quickly assured, taking her hand as he leaned back against the wall, drawing her close. "It's appreciated," he grinned, "I swear."

"Mm," she said, and started to close her eyes. Her head rested on his left shoulder. "I believe you. Only because you suck at lying."

Noriko looked tired, but she was smiling, and that was enough for Renji to be aware of his heavy heartbeats. Her hands were around his neck, now, and Renji touched the curve of her cheek, trailing his fingers to her lips when they twitched amusedly.

"Let's go home," she whispered, blinking her impossibly blue eyes, "and then we can _properly_ celebrate-"

"Are you kiddin'," he interrupted, looking at her incredulously as she pouted. "Look at you! You can't even stand up without me here."

"Seeing how I waited over two hours for you," replied Noriko, grin stretching across her face, "I was hoping you were going to thank me in some way."

"Thank you?" repeated Renji, raising his eyebrows. Her audacity never failed to amaze him.

"Thank me," confirmed Noriko, shooting him her flirty, breathtaking smile. "And, you know, I _have_ been known to return favours..."

"You're insane," muttered Renji.

Noriko beamed. "Only for you," she replied, kissing him on the cheek. "And I must be having a bad influence on you, for you to naturally assume that by celebrate I meant jumping into bed. I bet you'll feel like a complete jerk when you discover I actually prepared a romantic, candlelit dinner at home."

"Did you?" asked Renji doubtfully.

"No," conceded Noriko. She grinned. "But I could have."

"Impossible." Renji shook his head as Noriko attempted to say something back, but her stomach rumbled. "Shit, you didn' eat?"

"I did," she replied defensively, embarrassedly, a faint amount of pink dusting her cheeks. "Just, not in a while..."

"We're goin' to get you food first," said Renji, holding on to her arm, "and then we're _sleepin'_ for the first time in the last week, okay?"

"Spoilsport," pouted Noriko. "Okay, how about we go-"

Renji wished he had listened to what Noriko had to say, and not just assume she would try attempt to (and succeed in) coax him into her way of thinking. It wasn't his fault, since Noriko did that like, _all the time_. Because as it turned out, Noriko was just going to suggest a place to eat ("One that serves _more_ that just noodles and alcohol," she'd say later on, between cracks of laughter). Except what turned out to happen was he had tried to flashstep one way while she did the other, and because of some law that Renji never bothered memorizing in class, they had ended up somewhere completely random and had no idea what to do.

Seriously, they were standing in the middle of a field with no trees in sight, and Renji could barely feel the _presence_ of other reiatsu, never mind figure out the location.

"_Now_ look at what you've done," Noriko glared, dusting off her uniform. "I probably look like a wreck."

Renji didn't have the heart to tell her she already looked that way from before, but he did say, "You still look sexy."

"Don't think that saying really nice but completely true things about me will make me be less angry towards you for ruining my meal," said Noriko, but her lips twitched, and Renji was already so touched at the fact that she had waited for him for hours that he let the fact that she was being completely irrational slide.

"Wait," said Renji, squinting as his eyes caught sight of something. "I think that's... an apple tree?"

Noriko immediately whipped around. "Huh?" Noriko looked and her face brightened. "An apple tree?"

"Yeah," said Renji, "Well. Whaddya know."

Noriko went and eagerly took one off the branch. Renji thought that part of her happiness came from the knowledge of knowing what she was about to eat wouldn't cause her to "break out" (whatever that meant - but she always associated it with oily foods).

Noriko gave a satisfied "mm" as she bit into it. "Wow," she said. "This is really-"

She gasped.

"What's wrong?" asked Renji instantly. "Noriko?"

"Renji," she breathed, looking up at the sky. "_Look_."

Renji looked, and his breath caught in his throat. It was magnificent - there was a strip of white light stretching across the horizon, the color fading into the dark sky. It made the stars look clearer and enhanced the shine of the moon which looked brighter than ever.

"Beautiful," said Noriko, voice overwhelmed with awe. "That's just so..."

And then, amazingly, she took another bite of the apple.

Renji snorted.

"What?" Noriko pouted. "I was hungry. Don't ruin the moment."

"You already ruined it," retorted Renji.

Noriko sighed dramatically and sat down on the bluish-silver grass. Renji wondered why she didn't just plop down like a normal person. "You're lucky that I chose you for your dashing good looks," she told him, yawning, "and not in your ability of flattery."

"That's really nice," he said sarcastically, sitting down beside her. "Why aren't you complainin' that your clothes are getting dirty?"

Noriko laughed, moonlight glinting off her earrings. Her face was illuminated in such a way that it looked far more beautiful than the sky – it was as though she had stars in her eyes. Renji vaguely thought about how lucky he was that someone as amazing as Noriko was here with him right now, how lucky he was that someone as amazing as Noriko was in his life, period.

"I figured that you've already seen me in worse states," she said, lying down on the grass. Renji drew his knees to his chest and watched her. "There's not a lot of people who I can say that about."

"No?" asked Renji, amused.

"Mm hmm," she replied sleepily. "I feel all warm inside when I think that even if I was all old and unsexy, you'd still think I was awesome."

Renji's heart started to pound faster at that, realizing how true that statement was. And it was true: he didn't know where exactly he and Noriko would be in one year, two years, a hundred years, but he knew that if she was still the same Noriko - the flirty smiles, easy humour, and playful manner - he'd still be drawn to her.

So Renji just let out a quiet, "yeah," hoping that Noriko was disoriented enough from her lack of sleep that she hadn't heard him.

"Don't worry," replied Noriko, reaching out to grab his hand. She pulled him down so he was lying next to her, burying her head in his shoulder. "I'd still think you were awesome too."

But the words were said so softly that Renji barely heard them, and by the time he turned around to look at her, she was fast asleep, apple tucked securely in the one hand that wasn't grasping on to the sleeve of Renji's haori. Renji made a resolution to make her a big breakfast in the morning and make sure she ate each and every bite of it.

In the morning it had turned out that they were really in the middle of the training grounds for the 1st Division, and the reason he couldn't feel anything was because Yamamoto-soutaichou had put up some fancy, multi-layered barrier around it so the bursts of his reiatsu didn't bother the rest of the citizens of Soul Society. Renji still didn't know exactly what had happened ("Gyonko's Sixth Law of Shunpo," Noriko told him later. "Seriously. Renji."), but he felt this calm contentment inside him when he carried Noriko back home, hearing her dream about nonsensical things.

It was kind of sad, being at the field again, thought Renji, seeing the bright green grass slowly darken as the sun set further. He lied down and looked at the darkening sky, recalling that he thought he would always be attracted to Noriko if she stayed the way she was.

But it was too much to expect, now that he thought back at it. He had believed that when he had known her for, what, a month and a half? At that time all of Noriko's flaws were quirky and kind of cute, and she took his breath away in almost every opportunity.

Now, he knew her so much better, and she still took his breath away at every opportunity. But he also found qualities in her he didn't know if he could accept, a cruelty he didn't think someone as amazing and brilliant and kind as her could have.

There were so many things that Renji had wanted in life. Many of those things he got, many he was working towards, and many that he simply had no chance of getting. He wanted Noriko to fall under the first category - and in some part of his mind, he knew she already was - but everything involving Noriko was so... complicated.

It wasn't until a little while later that he felt Noriko appear beside him. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel her sit down next to him. He could imagine, sitting with folded legs, hands resting on her lap. Her hair was probably tidier now, her uniform fixed. She'd look just like the Noriko he had met at the bar months ago.

When he did open his eyes a little later - because Noriko had sat there for some time without saying anything - Renji saw that he was right. She was wearing her signature blue earrings, her skin soft and clean, her hair twisted in a neat braid. But there was a bandage on her forehead and stitches on her arm, and despite himself, Renji felt a dull ache in his chest thinking about Noriko in physical pain.

"I hoped that you'd be able to remember this place," said Noriko, finally. "I realized at the 4th Division's headquarters that I may not have been too specific with my instructions..."

Renji couldn't help but smile a little at that.

"Listen, Renji," sighed Noriko. "You know that I'm not the type of person who beats around the bush, right? Well, actually, I guess I do, sometimes, but most of those occasions could be marked off as me rambling, so that doesn't really count..." She paused. "You know, you could sit up and _look_ at me while I'm talking."

"I'm looking," he said, and he saw her frown. She said, "Please, Renji."

The way she was talking, it was as though it was difficult for her to get the words out. She didn't sound pained, necessarily, just... frustrated? Sad?

Renji sat up, and looked at her like she asked. Her eyes were lowered onto her lap, and Renji thought it was rather strange of her to ask him to look at her when she wasn't doing the same with him.

But perhaps it was for the better, because once Noriko tilted her head up and stared at him with her blue, blue eyes, Renji found he absolutely couldn't look away.

"It might be hard to believe," started Noriko slowly, not removing her gaze from him, "what, with me chasing after bandits and sleeping every night in impromptu shelters, but over the last few weeks I've had a lot of time to think."

"Yeah?" he said back, softly.

"Yeah," she confirmed. At the outer edges of his vision he could see Noriko's fingers twitching, twisting her uniform, as though they were desperate to do _something. _She was the type of person who was always used to touching and showing her affection that it must've been taking her actual effort to not do reach out and take his hands or touch his arm when speaking. "Too much time to think, really." She gave him a wry smile. "I was dead tired in the nights where we actually weren't following leads. But even when I lied down I couldn't sleep because I was _thinking_. I have bags under my eyes now, you know. Completely not sexy."

Noriko gave a sigh, absently tucking her long bangs behind an ear. "You know, I had it all planned out," she informed him. "What I would say to you, I mean, when we finally met up. But now I'm so lost."

"That's a first," said Renji, surprising both himself as well as Noriko. "I mean, you're not the type to ever be lost."

"I guess I'm not." Noriko smiled, and her eyes were bright. "What a hopeless pair we'd be if _I_ was as bad with directions as you-"

"I'm sorry," blurted out Renji.

Noriko stopped abruptly and blinked.

It was a shock to them both, but Renji didn't regret that he said it. He opened his mouth to continue, but Noriko said, "Renji-"

"No," he hurried. He had to say it, all the things that had been overwhelming him for the longest time. "You don't understand, I-"

"What the hell," said Noriko. "Renji." Her hands finally left her lap and they were on his shoulders in a second, grasping them tightly, looking right into his eyes. "_No_, don't do that. Hearing you say that makes me feel like an even bigger bitch because you actually mean it."

"But-"

"Renji," interrupted Noriko loudly, "you have to understand that for someone like me, doing... _this _is really hard. I'm not the type of person who screws up, and I'm _really_ not the type who goes and asks other people for... forgiveness or whatever. This is why you have to understand that I'm so, immensely sorry, and I honestly believe it."

His heart beat faster then, his head feeling lighter. "I mean it too."

Noriko laughed and it was warm. "There's something really screwed up about us," she said. She sighed, looking up at the sky which was darkening. Faint spots of star light were starting to appear. "I don't know if it's because we started out too unconventionally or we moved too fast or what, but there's... something."

"I noticed that too," said Renji dryly, and Noriko smiled.

"I think it was because we were too happy," she mused. "Well, it was for me, I think. I let myself get caught up in all of this so completely, get caught up in you. It was just so easy, you know?" She paused for a second and looked at him, eyes so clear and filled with amusement that Renji saw why it was easy for him too. "I loved every second, flirting with you, arguing with you, trying to get you embarrassed, the fantastic making out. It seemed so natural and I didn't really question it because I could see that you wanted it too."

Noriko's honesty was overwhelming him. Renji was having a difficult time trying to grasp Noriko - she was always so carefree and calm that he honestly could not comprehend this other side to her. Was it the three weeks she spent in Rukongai? Or did this really mean so much to her that she was willing to push away whatever fears and doubts she had about them to let him know how she felt?

"I really don't know what else to say," said Noriko, biting down on her lower lip. "We both said really... really unforgiving things. And one of the many earth-shattering revelations that I had while I was away was that even though we both-" She paused again, struggling to find the proper words. "Even though we both hurt each other, you make me happy, and I think I make you happy too."

_You make me happy, too_, thought Renji. He looked away from Noriko, gazing at something in the distance that even he couldn't see. "What," he started to say, pausing only because his throat seemed to be too dry to formulate words. He swallowed. "What d'you think we should do next, then?"

Noriko looked at him and blinked widely, confusedly, hesitantly. It was as though she couldn't answer that question on her own. "I think," started Noriko slowly, "that what we had - what he _have_ - made us happy. I think," she paused, looking at him carefully, "I think that we should try to do it again, what we have, where we left off."

Renji gave out a weary sigh. He knew this was coming, in some part of his mind. From the moment Noriko came back - at the tree, back at the training field - and hadn't pointed a sword at his throat out of weeks of building anger, Renji knew that Noriko would want this. It made him hurt a little on the inside that he would have to say this.

Noriko looked at him, eyebrows drawing together in worry. "Renji?"

"Remember when we first started," said Renji, voice low. "I said that I didn' really have a lot to offer. That there were things that I needed to work out."

Noriko didn't say anything, just looked at him, and so Renji continued, "It wasn't being fair t'you. I guess I realized that because of how we started, we never had a chance of goin' anywhere further because we both thought that the other didn't want it too, y'know? There's just too much stuff that we both never have the guts to say or do, stuff that we say when we don't know what else to do, and I don't think that's the kind of..." He paused, racking his brain, trying to think of the words that would properly describe what he wanted to say.

"That's not the kind of thing I can deal with, not with everythin' else that's goin' on right now."

"Renji..."

He felt like a coward that he could say that the problem with the entire situation was that neither of them had the courage to say anything that would save their relationship, and there he was right then, not having the guts to tell Noriko that the real, more important reason for all of this was because he put so much trust in Noriko that it unnerved him, and he didn't know how to deal with it.

It was different than with Rukia because Rukia was someone that would never, ever do anything to put him through the slightest doubt that his trust was misplaced. It was just _like that_ - they were best friends before everything else, and that's the part that counted the most. It was different than with Kuchiki-taichou and his fellow shinigami, because the bond they created through fighting together was something that couldn't be broken by harsh words or wounds from swords.

But with Noriko, she had the ability to hurt him. With the others, it was almost incomprehensible that they could do anything that would cause him pain, but with Noriko, he _knew_ that she could.

And despite that he still wanted to give it to her.

"I'm sorry." It was perhaps one of the most sincerest things he had ever said in his life, even though he looked away from her as he said so.

Noriko blinked, and her bright blue eyes were glassy. "Renji," she said, voice a bit hoarse. "You know that I," she swallowed and screwed her eyes shut before continuing, "you know that I really - I really like you. I like you a lot. A lot, a lot."

_Me too_, he wanted to say, but couldn't bring his voice to do so. All he could do was hold her hand, and hope she understood because she was _Noriko_, dammit, and she was supposed to know what he was thinking.

There was something a little sad about Noriko right then. Not in a pitying way, but in a way that made her seem smaller. It could have been the cuts on her cheeks or the way she had lowered her eyes.

The way she was talking as though she had given up before even trying.

He pulled his hands away from hers and it wasn't a surprise when she didn't reach after him. He had expected this happen, of course, it was one the reasons that he had to go through with this. As he got up, the only thing he could say was, "I'm sorry," and he felt as though a stone settled into his stomach when Noriko laughed a strained laugh and said, "I believe you."

Renji stood was the first to stand up, but Noriko was the first to leave. Maybe if he hadn't just stood there looking like an idiot, maybe if he said something when Noriko whispered, "It's not like we didn't have a fighting chance," maybe if he acted like Abarai Renji, the one who acted with his heart and not with his head, then something would be different right now.

But no - now he was sad and pathetic, like every other rejected person in the universe, and Noriko was gone, and he hadn't even gotten the chance to return her stupid ribbon to her.

It was just so fitting, thought Renji, that his last memory of this place had him leaving the girl of his dreams, while his first had him lying beside her, watching her as she slept.

He wondered if all the bad things that had happened in his life could have been avoided if only he had the guts to stand up just that one time it counted.

Renji didn't know when or how he'd left the field and ended up at the roof of the 6th Division headquarters. He didn't come to brood, though. He had made his decision, he was going to stick by it. And it wasn't just him being stubborn - logically, Renji knew he made the right decision. Yes, he and Noriko had something that made them happy at the moment. But it was just so ethereal that it could have been broken any moment - it _was_ broken - and that kind of fluttering joy wasn't something he wanted to depend on because if it disappeared, he knew he couldn't recover.

Perhaps that was why he hid in the safety of Rukia, Ichigo, Ikkaku, Iba, Matsumoto. They wouldn't leave him - the kind of relationship they had, the kind of people they were, they would always be with Renji, filling him with that familiar warmth.

Noriko, though - Noriko could leave him.

It was all so complicated that it made his head hurt. It made perfect sense in his mind, but he couldn't explain feelings with words. He always sucked at stuff like that. But he couldn't regret what he chose. He had just recently promised that he would be true to himself, do what he thought was right. And he thought what he just did was right, and would live with the consequences of it without wishing he had done something different.

And the next thing that Renji knew, there was a sword at the back of his neck, and Rukia saying, "Geez, when nii-sama told me that something was wrong, I didn't think it was this serious. What the hell is _wrong _with you?"

Renji felt as though a bucket of cold water had been thrown on him.

"Rukia?" he asked, barely believing his own voice.

Behind him, he heard her put away her zanpakutou. "Of course," she said, and Renji turned around, overwhelmed by the level of comfort that familiar smirk brought. "Who else is the last resort to get your sorry ass moving?"

The smile that broke across his face was instinctive, and Rukia's face softened to do the same. "Come on, idiot," she said, holding out her hand. "I've been gone for months and you don't even sense me coming? You're so buying dinner tonight."

Renji automatically reached forward, grasping onto her nimble fingers before pulling himself up. It was _Rukia_ - skinny and cocky with her dark hair falling across her eyes, looking as though she could take on the world if she had to.

Somewhere inside of him, it was as though a missing part of him found its place, and everything that he had felt over the last few months that wasn't happiness at its purest started to vanish.

For the first time in a very long time, Renji could honestly believe that everything would be alright.


	9. Rukia

_Hey everyone! See, this chapter is up much, __**much**__ faster than the last one was. : D I can't believe I actually wrote **nine** chapters of a story. This is like, such a big deal for me.  
_

_This is a super important chapter. I think you'll understand why as you read it. I hope I made Renji's character development apparent and believable up till this point because otherwise you might be like, "what." This chapter is also not edited yet, so please bear with the hideous mistakes I am prone to accidentally make.  
_

_Thank you for your reviews in the last chapter. Please give me your thoughts on this as well. It was so hard to not have any Noriko in this chapter, and she managed to sneak her way in anyway. I love her so much! I sincerely hope you do too. _

_Enjoy reading!_

**--**

**No Strings Attached  
Chapter 9 - Rukia**

--

"So then," grinned Rukia, swallowing down another mouthful of ramen. Renji watched in a bizarre fascination. "I had to attack it from behind, you know? They always said at the academy that cross species have a weak skull but strong eyes - but that thing had eyes all around its head."

"Really," responded Renji weakly.

Nodding, Rukia continued, "Yeah, but Ichigo was all like, _no, that's some shit strategy_. And I was like, _like you know anything, dumbass_." Rukia handled her chopsticks with such efficient grace that Renji actually felt envious - though that was stupid because Rukia was a noble, and she must've had to suffer through many, many horrible hours of stuffy teachers to get to that level of skill.

The thought made him smile, imagining Rukia trying to hide her disgruntled features.

"So at the end, you wouldn't believe who saved our asses. Cause Ichigo started saying something about about ratios between reiatsu levels and and size, and the next thing I knew the Hollow was exploding into pieces and Ishida was punching Ichigo across the face for causing a racket that even his two year old could hear."

"Ohh, Yumi-chan." Renji smiled outright at that, "I still dunno how he's the father to something so freakin' adorable."

Rukia nodded sagely. "I know. His wife's gorgeous though. Watching them interact sometimes makes me want to gag."

For a second, Renji wondered what Rukia was talking about. Even though he would never, _ever_, say this out loud, Ishida and his wife were perhaps the sweetest couple he had ever seen. The kind that made Renji look away and hide a grin behind his hand. The kind of relationship he hoped he would have sometime in the future.

And then he realized that "makes me want to gag" was Rukia for, "makes me squeal and _aw_ inside from their insane cuteness."

Because really, at the end of the day, despite all of her boyish attitude and rough words, Rukia was a gentle person, who had a soft and gooey center.

"But yeah. _That's_ why I need a new uniform now. Because I have dead Hollow all over it. Not because I actually did something cool."

Renji smirked. "I can't remember the last time that _you_ did something cool."

"Oh yeah." Rukia grinned cockily, gesturing at her chopsticks. "Watch this. Ukitake-taichou taught it to me a few months ago when we were having tea."

"Why d'you need chopsticks when drinkin' tea?" Renji wanted to know.

Rukia glared. "Just shut up and _watch_." She touched the tip of the long wooden sticks with her finger, and a little blue spark traveled out of her finger and into the stick. A moment later, the chopstick was cleanly cut in half along the long side, two identical pieces lying next to each other.

Smiling in a satisfied way, Rukia said, "See."

Renji folded his arms. "That wasn't _that_ cool."

"Yeah, let's see you do it then, smartass."

"Fine," snapped back Renji, as he picked up Rukia's other chopstick. He had a bad feeling in the back of his head, but he ignored it. It couldn't be _that_ hard. He just had to let out one spark of reiatsu. Even he could manage that.

Renji took a deep breath and focused on the feeling of energy running through his body. He imagined letting out the tiniest drop of it and saw in his mind's eye that spark traveling down the chopstick.

And the next thing he knew there were wood chips flying into his face, nearly jabbing him in the eye.

"Shit."

Seeing Rukia's smug smile just made it worse. She could really make a guy feel like the world's biggest fool sometimes.

"So anyway," said Rukia, idly swiping away the remains of the broken chopsticks and Renji's pride, "what's been going on here? And I just dare you to say nothing, Renji, because I've been gone for months."

Renji felt that familiar twinge. Rukia _had_ been gone for a long time and he'd have to be lying if he said he hadn't missed her insanely. It was just that her ties in Karakura were strengthening more than her ties back in Soul Society, and the fact that shinigami on duty didn't have to report back to their captains personally just gave Rukia less reason to come back.

Still - Renji knew that their friendship was something that Rukia treasured greatly, and it wasn't something that could be broken so easily. He didn't fear her ever leaving him - because bonds with Rukia were something that one kept for life - but rather, he was afraid of how he would live his life without her there as a constant goal, a constant presence.

So Renji settled with a small grin and said, "Kira got a tattoo, did ya know?"

Rukia nearly choked on her water. "_What_?" Renji had never heard her sound so scandalized.

"Seriously!" he laughed. "I was just walkin' down the street that day when I saw him rubbin' his arm. I thought somethin' was wrong and you know how flustered he gets. The design's cool though. It's like, a spirally thing coiling around a bird."

"Yeah," nodded Rukia. "_Cool_."

Renji glared at her blatant sarcasm. "Just cause _you_ can't handle the thought of needles pokin' into you skin doesn't mean that everyone who gets one is a total retard!"

"No, just you are," she smirked.

"Well, anyway," said Renji, steering the subject away from Rukia's specialty (which generally involved her verbally abusing him and him exploding and acting like an idiot which led her to smile condescendingly). "Other stuff happened too."

"Yeah?"

"Hmm... lets see. Iba and the guys got themselves banned from that bar in the 4th District."

"I meant _new_ news Renji."

"You mean they got banned from there _before_?"

"You idiot." Rukia rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile pulling on her lips that made Renji grin in turn.

"Yeah, yeah. What else, what else... there've been problems with bandits again, Hitsugaya started losin' hair - I know, _I know_ - Kuchiki-taichou is readin' modern novels and I... kinda met a girl."

Rukia looked exaggeratedly shocked. "_You_ met a _girl_? That must've been a moment to remember."

"See this face Rukia? It's me not laughin'."

"I'd rather not look," replied Rukia with a grin. "You know, I still have to protect my eyes from hideous sights-"

"Oh, har _har_-"

"So," interrupted Rukia, "when did you meet her?"

Seeing Rukia's eyes filled with nothing but genuine happiness made the knot that had formed in Renji's stomach loosen. It wasn't as though he expected her to react any differently, but it made him feel better to actually see her. Renji didn't think he could ever explain what he and Rukia had even if he was the most brilliant poet in existence.

So Renji just replied, "Oh, hmm, I think around... two months ago? Three? Somethin' like that."

"Nice." Rukia ordered another bowl of ramen. "Is she pretty?"

Renji smiled a little bit. _"_You've got no idea."

"I will soon!" Rukia said this with such enthusiasm that Renji felt a little bit of heaviness return to his stomach. Or rather, the elation he had had when seeing Rukia after so long was finally starting to dissipate, and reality about Noriko was catching up with him. "We're going on a scouting mission."

Rukia was halfway off her stool when Renji grabbed her wrist.

"That might be a problem," he said slowly. "I kinda - we kind of broke up."

"What?" Rukia gaped. "You got together with someone and broke up in the span of time I was gone? When did this _happen_?"

Renji felt awkward. "A couple of hours before you found me."

Rukia looked like she had no idea about what the hell going on. Renji could relate - he had felt that way everyday for the last few months.

"Well, okay," said Rukia finally, giving him a considering look. She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. "There goes my plans for the evening. Following people around have become my specialty ever since Yuzu got a boyfriend and Ichigo's been stalking them. And I was forced to tag along because Yuzu begged me to keep Ichigo from making a fool out of himself."

"Clearly you failed." Renji grinned and Rukia punched his arm.

"Obviously. _You_ try keeping that idiot away from Yuzu and Karin. I think I had a bird sit on my head at one point and take a-"

"Argh!" Renji covered Rukia's mouth with his hand. "Don't say that kinda stuff when we're eatin'!"

"Wimp." Rukia grinned. "Come on. Do you still have the gaming console over at your place? I got the latest version of Halo."

"_No way_." Renji was out of his seat and taking Rukia's arm before he could even think _oh my God_. "I can't believe you didn't tell this to me the moment you came. Don't ya know by now that Halo means more to me than you do?"

"You fool," shrieked Rukia, but she was laughing and it sounded beautiful. "You forgot to pay the bill!"

"It's cool, the guy knows me," answered Renji - as if that explained all of life's problems - as they finally came to his home. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this game? Shit, half the time I dunno if I should strangle Ichigo for showing that game to me or-"

It wasn't until he had his door halfway open that he realized that this was where he and Noriko were living for the last few months _and Rukia was about to come in_.

_Shit_.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot." Rukia brushed past him and headed into the cupboard where Renji usually the television. It wasn't like Soul Society had any channels or anything that would give him a reason to keep it outside, so he only took it out when Rukia game over with the latest version of Halo or GTA or-

Renji was completely getting off topic.

Seeing that Rukia didn't have any reaction out of the ordinary inside, Renji ventured inside. Rukia was doing all sorts of technical stuff involving wires and reiatsu that Urahara-san had taught her.

And he was nearly shocked into an early retirement when he saw that his apartment was completely devoid of any trace of Noriko.

Renji walked around in some sort of daze. Everything was almost freakishly clean, and all the rooms were back to looking completely _Renji_.

Renji was already a neat person by nature, and it wasn't exactly as though Noriko was messy. She was just... _lazy_ sometimes and had stuff lying around. She'd eventually clean it later - Renji thought it was her guilty conscience catching up to her - but always there was something _there_. Some girly novel, a hair accessory, random pieces of clothing.

"It adds a little bit of me here," Noriko had said, when Renji asked why she spent so much time fixing her hair instead of things that actually mattered like _cleanliness_. With a smile she added, "Besides, don't you want me to look gorgeous? I'm doing this for _you_, you know."

"Really?" Renji felt kind of flattered.

"Well, no, I just enjoy looking fabulous everyday." Noriko giggled at Renji's glare. She kissed him on the cheek, laughing even harder when Renji stubbornly turned his head away. "But having you does give me extra incentive. I feel the need to be extra beautiful when I'm walking next to you."

"I swear you're insane," Renji said flatly, but he had to stifle the grin that was threatening to come on his face as she brushed the bangs away from her face in a way that only Noriko could make look sexy.

His throat dried and he started to blink an awful lot when Renji walked into the washroom and saw that all of Noriko's shampoos were gone.

"Renji," said Rukia from behind him, "come on. Everything's set up and I don't want to waste another when I could be owning you."

Rukia's bright grin was enough to help Renji push away the heavy feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He smirked and said, "You wish."

Renji took to the new game with extreme enthusiasm, going out of his way to completely pulverize the computerized opponents. He would have aimed for Rukia first, but her guy had disappeared the moment the game started. Renji suspected her of playing the game beforehand.

One of the reasons that Renji loved the game - other than the fact that, you know, it was _just that awesome_ - was because it really helped him get out any pent up frustrations. Rukia honestly couldn't have come in a better time.

"Renji," said Rukia after some time.

"Hmm?" Renji was concentrating on trying to locate the blue crystal that would give his weapon never ending bullets.

"Your hands are shaking." Rukia was giving him a curious look and Renji felt that her wide, purple eyes were seeing every single part of him - the good, the bad, the ugly. "Something is wrong with you."

Renji swallowed, avoiding her sharp gaze.

"Is it the girl?"

Renji snapped his head around to look at Rukia so fast that he felt a crick form in his muscles. She wasn't looking at him either - rather, she was idly tracing the hilt of her sword, mouth set in a straight line.

"Rukia..."

"It is, isn't it?" Rukia was flexing her fingers, and Renji didn't know whether or not she was controlling her anger or if she was getting ready for the fight. "Renji, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, and you're going to give me straightforward answers, okay?"

Renji sighed, setting down his controller. "'Kay."

"What's her name?"

"Noriko," answered Renji promptly.

"Is she shinigami?"

Renji nodded, "Yeah."

"What division is she in?"

"3rd."

Rukia started her next sentence carefully. "Did she do anything that would require me to confront her? Physically?"

"_What_?" Renji was horrified. "Rukia, what the hell's wrong with you? 'Course not!"

"I thought that might be the answer." Rukia shook her head in a fond, exasperated manner before turning to face him properly. Her eyes were oddly serious. "Listen, Renji, I don't know what happened. I kind of don't want to know because I'm afraid that I'll find out you did something Incredibly Stupid and I'll end up punching you. But at the end of the day Renji, I've still got your back."

"Rukia..." Renji had hardly ever felt this touched before.

"And since you _are_ the girlier one out of the two of us," Rukia smirked, "if you want to talk about you feelings or whatever, I'll try not to fall asleep."

Renji rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the offer."

"I thought you'd say that too." Rukia smiled. "Now. Do you want to see all the cool things I can do with Sode no Shiroyuki now?"

Renji snorted. "Whatever. It still ain't gonna be enough to beat me."

"Asshole," said Rukia, narrowing her eyes. "I'll show you."

An hour later, it turned out that Renji was right.

Rukia glared at him as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. "Holy shit," she breathed. "What the hell have you been doing while I was gone? Finding a way to channel nii-sama's strength?"

"Heh, guess trainin' the newbies helped in somethin'." Renji grinned, from his position on top of the grass of the 6th Division's training area. "They suck at everythin' but those bastards never run out of energy."

Rukia smiled wearily, collapsing on the ground and stretching her arm behind her head.

Renji was justifiably amazed by how strong Rukia was. It seemed like forever since they last sparred. Frankly speaking, the fight was the best he had had for months now, with his normal sparring partners buried with work. Rukia's strength was getting to be something fierce, and Renji felt a little bit of warmth in his heart when he realized she would most likely be focusing on achieving bankai soon.

He seriously couldn't wait to see it happen. It would probably even more amazing to see than Kuchiki-taichou's Senbonzakura.

"I'm leaving again tomorrow." Rukia's voice was quiet, but it effectively broke the silence.

Renji looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "I figured."

"Renji-"

"Good luck, y'know?" Renji didn't want Rukia to say whatever she was going to. Not because it would be incredibly weird - though it would be - but because he didn't think he could bear to hear her sound apologetic. "An' I'll be the one to come and see ya next time, okay? Someone's gotta knock around Ichigo every once in a while."

"Hah, don't worry, I do enough of that."

"I'll come and help anyway. It's been a while since we got together to beat someone up, eh?"

Rukia smiled. "Totally."

"I think I'll crack in another four months," Renji teased. "I'll start missin' your freaky bo-ha-ha-ha laugh around every corner,"

"Oh, shut up." Rukia still grinned however. "It's been so long since you've been to Karakura, Renji. Everything's still so..."

"Good?" Renji supplied.

"Good," she agreed. There was a faint hint of wistfulness in the voice that was so _Rukia_. It made Renji think, _that's what I want for her_.

They separated a little after that. Rukia said that she had to, "go and visit nii-sama," and the blinding _happiness _that was radiating from every part of her made it hard for Renji not to be enthusiastic for her as well.

It was slightly difficult for him to sleep that night. Although Noriko had been gone for the few weeks beforehand, Renji knew she wasn't _supposed_ to be there. Now he knew she was out there, somewhere in the 3rd Division's part of Seireitei, and it was so damn hard to not have someone there.

Seeing Rukia though somewhat unsettled his decision about Noriko.

Renji knew all the reasons why he did it. He could list them all in his head: he wanted more than what she was willing to give, there were things that they both never had the courage to say, there was always a lingering, _when is she going to leave me?, _etc. etc.

No matter how much happiness he felt whenever she was there, there was something that was so _wrong_ about the whole thing. So many doubts, questions, and _what ifs_.

But then came Rukia.

Seeing Rukia made him wonder if he really did the right thing. Seeing her so happy when she knew there were hundreds of problems that her and Ichigo would have to face. Seeing Rukia just enjoying the moments she had with him (even as friends, though they were obviously so much more), made Renji wonder if he was doing the smart thing - the right thing - by letting Noriko go.

It was all too confusing. He didn't know if he was doing the wrong thing by cutting himself off from Noriko, or if Rukia was doing the wrong thing by not taking her situation more seriously. Because all the issues that he and Noriko had were their own. With Rukia and Ichigo, there were bigger things in the way than just themselves - even though they themselves were currently the problem that was delaying their process of getting together. But he loved Rukia, he wanted to see her happy, so Renji tried to not think about her dilemmas and just enjoy seeing her elated face until he was forced to do otherwise.

Rukia was strong.

He had doubts about himself though.

Renji was there to see Rukia off the next day, and so was Kuchiki-taichou. His captain just gave him a nod, as though he wasn't at _all_ surprised to see Renji running into the field with bed hair hastily shoved into a tie at the crack of dawn.

Rukia touched Renji's hand. "I'll see you soon."

"Sooner than you might think," he smirked. "Kuchiki-taichou's gonna be sendin' me there in the next three weeks to make sure you haven't gotten into any trouble. He thinks it's a fluke that nothin's happened yet and something insanely bad will happen soon."

Kuchiki-taichou snorted in that dignified way that only he could. "Renji has been speaking more and more nonsense as the days go on."

"I noticed that too." Rukia smirked.

Renji couldn't believe he was being ganged up on by those two.

"Take care, Rukia." Kuchiki-taichou briefly touched her hair but that small moment was enough for Renji to see the love in Kuchiki-taichou's face.

"You too, nii-sama." Rukia bowed deeply, before smiling up at them both. "I'll miss you. Not so much Renji, though."

"Nice," said Renji sarcastically. Kuchiki-taichou looked slightly amused as he left and Rukia's gaze lingered after him for a moment. Renji thought it was pretty cool of him to let them have a chance to talk before Rukia left.

"So," she said, turning her gaze back to Renji. "Make sure you come, okay? Yumi-chan wants to play with your hair. She thinks it's _really _pretty."

Despite the mocking tone in her voice, Renji couldn't help but grin.

"Definitely," he said. "I love havin' my hair abused by Yumi-chan's little demon hands."

"Who wouldn't love that?"

"Just make sure-" he paused, voice catching in his throat as Rukia looked at him curiously. "Just make sure that you're happy there, okay? Do everythin' that you can to make sure that you'll be happy for a long, long time."

"Renji," said Rukia, and her wide eyes looked at him so intensely that Renji had to focus on keeping eye contact. Even though this was something that they were both aware that the other knew of, it was the first time either of them said it out loud. Rukia wouldn't beat around the bush with this at all.

_Please get what I'm trying to say_, thought Renji. _Because this is something that can help both of us out._

"Don't you understand that it's better to be happy for even just a second than miserable for your entire life trying to find something that'll last forever?"

"I know," he replied, and at that moment, he really believed he did. "But don't let your chance of forever get away 'cause you're settlin' for right now."

Rukia's eyes widened, and Renji put his hand on her shoulder and said with a smile, "I'll be seein' ya then. Get someone to teach you somethin' more, alright? I'd just love to beat _that_ too."

"As if." Rukia snorted, but her eyes were shining. "Good luck," she said. "And remember that I'll come back here in a second if some beating up is required, okay?"

"Got it," he promised. "Now go." _And be happy._

Rukia smiled as she stepped into the darkness that would, inevitably, lead her to the place that she most wanted to be. _You too_.

Renji hoped he could do the same.


End file.
